Our two daughters were adopted from Russia at ages 9 yrs. and 12 yrs. One clearly shows RAD-like behavior and the other does not. This makes perfect sense now that we know both of their stories–from them, not the orphanage director.

Over the years we’ve worked with both of our dauthers providing security and building trust. They look and act so “normal”, that many friends and acquaintances don’t understand some of the decisions and choices we make. But the fact is, they need US to be their parents, and take the burden and stress from them that they grew accustomed to in their early years.

We’ve learned much about the physical/brain response to (and consequences) of poor attachment, and profited a great deal from Biblical parenting resources such as, “Heart of Anger” by Lou Priolo, “Shepherding a Child’s Heart” by Ted Tripp, “Age of Opportunity”, by Paul Tripp, and articles found on the NANC (National Association of Nouthetic Counselors) website.

By God’s grace and mercy we’ve seen a great deal of progress! And yes, there are days when we grow weary. Still, God continues to refine us and equip us for what He has called us do–love and train our precious daughters for His glory! Blessings to you as you seek to honor Him!

Thanks, Bobbie

If your major goal as a parent is to get a newborn to sleep through the night, feed only at certain times, and otherwise do things at your convenience, don’t have children! I recommend the opposite approach to Ezzo (and Ferber, a “sleep through the night” expert): Attachment Parenting. Some of the proponents probably go overboard, and I may or may not agree with their views on other topics, but they offer the most wisdom I’ve found on starting a baby’s life off right.

For what it’s worth, our 3-year-old is polite, shares without prompting, happy, fun-loving, etc. (And, like any child, sometimes has bad hours and bad days. Attachment Parenting doesn’t do the impossible.) One anecdote shouldn’t convince anyone, but I think a fair-minded look at available information will turn up quite a bit of support.

Today I came across this facinating article about The Chemistry of Attachment. My mother was asking me more about Reactive Attachment Disorder this week, and this article touches on the oxcytocin/cortisol impact on infant brain development. The wonderf…

The reason you are abnormally vexed by the Ezzo’s paints the same logic as those who would look to a David Koresh or Jim Jones and say, “see that’s why I’m not a Christian.”

Well, though you aren’t the first to notice cult-like tendencies related to Ezzo, don’t you think it is a stretch to compare him to Koresh or Jones?

Do the zealots and wounded necessarily mean that the Ezzo’s are to blame?

Oh, wait. You are comparing parents to cult leaders. Interestingly, it isn’t just the “zealots” or “wounded” who have problems while implementing Ezzo’s materials. In fact, from my observation, families who still like and support Ezzo have just as many problems resulting from the materials. They just haven’t connected the dots yet.

Nearly anything in unwise hands can have lasting and detrimental effects.

Ahhhh. . . So you think that anyone who has had negative outcomes from implementing the Ezzo materials in their family wasn’t using “flexibility” and “common sense.” They must have been “legalistic.” Sadly, that isn’t the case. The materials are flawed, as they are taught and commonly understood by both the lay reader and the teachers of Ezzo parenting. I’m going to go into more detail in a regular blog post later this week.

As a body of information the Ezzo material sure beats the psycho-babble trash most Christians turn to.

Again, I want to address this in more detail in its own post. But for now–are you aware of the medical research that contradicts Gary Ezzo’s basic premises in Babywise/Prep for Parenting/Along the Infant Way? Psycho-babble aside. . . Babywise is contrary to the basics of breastfeeding, physical infant growth, physical brain development, and more.

No one is ready to saint Gary Ezzo or canonize his works, but we shouldn’t crucify him either.

I hardly consider it extreme to ask a Christian to be accountable for his actions and words. By the great changes in his many “minor revisions” of Babywise, Ezzo has de facto admitted to publishing wrong and harmful materials. I’m waiting for him to make a public statement, admitting he has written materials that are not backed by medical facts and issuing a recall for his books. That’s not “crucifixion.” That’s accepting responsibility for mistakes.

You are welcome to discuss Ezzo parenting here on my blog. I assume you will keep your tone civil, and I’d really like to see documentation of the points you wish to make.

However if you are convinced that Ezzo critics really are mistaken, you may enjoy starting a conversation over here.

“Do the zealots and wounded necessarily mean that the Ezzo’s are to blame?”

That’s pretty loaded, would you care to elaborate so that no one can make any false assumptions about what you mean?

With regard to the effects of Ezzo’s “method”, I hope and pray that you both are well on the road to repairing your realtionships with your precious little ones. I learned a wonderful lesson in Grace just the other day, myself, and am constantly amazed and awed at the healing and regenerative powers of Love. Thank you for sharing your stories about this. I hope other parents who also love their children dearly will hear the other side of the story before beginning Ezzo’s tactics. {{{hugs}}

Dy

As a conservative, I’m of a mindset that people ought to accept responsibility for their lives and not try to find excuses to not be responsible.

And we do see a plethora of syndromes, disorders, and other problems in this therapy-embracing culture. Sometimes these are used as excuses for people not accepting responsibilty.

However, that doesn’t negate the reality of mental/physical illnesses.

I’m not sure how much you know about child development, but an infant’s brain grows and develops at an amazing rate during the first year. Much of the RAD research has linked this very real problem to the overabundance of cortisol in stressful situations. In infants, this kills off brain cells, especially ones connected with memory and impulse control. This is one of the reasons what happens to infants is linked to long-term development.

RAD is more commonly seen in internationally adopted children who were not cared for as infants and young children.

Before you dismiss RAD as a made-up syndrome or a way for pharmeceutical companies to drum up business, I encourage you to read:

The Importance of Attachment

What Is Attachment Disorder

When the Bonding Cycle is Broken
Nathhan’s Article on Attachment

I must admit, I felt a bit upset when I read of your skepticism, Christopher. Besides the mother I mentioned in my post, I’m friends with a family whose oldest adopted child has exhibited severe RAD. In both of these families, it has caused so much havoc and as much as these families love these children–love cannot just undo the damage that has already been done.