TulipGirl

One year ago. . .

The boys ran to me and said, “Mom, mom! There is an ambulance outside!” They were looking out their bedroom window, watching the commotion in front of our next door neighbor’s house.

They wanted to go outside. Get a closer look.

I didn’t know what was going on. . . “Boys, give them space. Give them privacy. We’ll find out what is going on later.”

Ambulances signal emergency. In this case, it was a tragedy.

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Earlier this week I read about Job’s friends. They often get derided for the counsel they gave Job. But before they said anything? “they raised their voices and wept, and they tore their robes and sprinkled dust on their heads toward heaven. And they sat with him on the ground seven days and seven nights, and no one spoke a word to him, for they saw that his suffering was very great.”

I didn’t sit with Janice. I cried, but didn’t raise my voice and tear my clothes. Honestly, I don’t know how to weep with those who weep. We went to Derek’s memorial service. The community was there; friends, family mourning for Derek and his family and the other kids around here who are struggling in so many ways.

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One traditional proverb a friend in Ukraine shared with me is “Little children, little problems. Big children, big problems.” My children are still pretty young. I like to think they are immune from the hurt and pain and problems in life. While I know that isn’t true, part of me still hopes it is. But it reminds me of what my mother has told me, what was recently echoed by my pastor,

“It is surprising how seldom books on parenting talk about prayer. We instinctively believe that if we have the right biblical principles and apply them consistently, our kids will turn out right. But that didn’t work for God in the Garden of Eden. Perfect environment. Perfect relationships. And still God’s two children went bad.

“Many parents, including myself, are initially confident we can change our child. We don’t surrender to our child’s will (which is good), but we try to dominate the child with our own (which is bad). Without realizing it, we become demanding….

“Until we become convinced we can’t change our child’s heart, we will not take prayer seriously….”

Paul E. Miller, A Praying Life