TulipGirl

“Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves,
for the rights of all who are destitute.
Speak up and judge fairly;
defend the rights of the poor and needy.”

–Proverbs 31:8-9

I know many people have been vocal in the past. Yet I believe a renewed effort–even warning against specific teachings and teachers–is warranted.

This outcry has already started, as observed by Lynn Harris in Salon:

It’s one thing for those of us outside the fundamentalist Christian/Christian home-schooling world to point fingers at the Pearls and voice outrage at their methods. What really matters, and what stands to have actual impact, is the outrage inside the Pearls’ world. And right now, more than ever, an anti-Pearl movement within the conservative Christian community is rising up in heated, if sometimes whispered, fury. Some say — even pray — that Lydia Schatz’s death will bring Michael and Debi Pearl exactly the kind of attention they deserve.

Already many homeschool parents and leaders are speaking out, especially raising red flags about the teachings of Michael and Debi Pearl of No Greater Joy Ministries.

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In a modest effort to track those who are speaking out, would you please share in this thread those you have heard in your churches, homeschool groups, in person, and online homeschool groups?

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Those who are issuing warnings:

World Magazine Commentary: To Brainwash a Parent
Evangelical, conservative news magazine

Timberdoodle Co.: Discipline and Murder
Homeschool supply company

Bradenton SHARE: Support Homeschool Activities Reaching Everyone
Detailed e-mail to all members and friends

Home Education Magazine: Bring Back the Boycott
Homeschool magazine since 1984

Matthew Raley, Tritone Life: Is Michael Pearl Responsible For a Girl’s Death?
Senior pastor of the Evangelical Free Church in Orland, CA

Karen Campbell, ThatMom: Child Abuse in the Name of Jesus
Update on Lydia Schatz and Why It Is Not About Spanking
Pearls and Authoritarian Parenting
An Open Letter to my Brothers and Sisters in Christ Who Serve in Leadership to Homeschooling Families
Homeschool mom, grandmother, conference speaker, podcaster

Karen Ehman: Box Bashing
Homeschool mom, author, speaker

Rob Shearer: Tragedy in a Homeschooling Family
Homeschool father of 11 children, church elder, Director of the Francis Schaeffer Study Center, co-founder of Greenleaf Press homeschool materials publisher

Randy Greenwald: Hermeneutics, Life, and Death
Pastor, homeschool father of six

Samuel Martin
Religious Scholar

Barbara Curtis, MommyLife: Lydia Schatz: shame on Mike and Debi Pearl!
Michael Pearl Laughs at His Critics, No Apology for Dead Children
Growing Outrage at Michael Pearl and his Response to Child’s Death
Cult Characteristics and the Pearls
Mom of 12 (bio, adopted and special needs), grandma of 10, author and Montessori teacher

Carol, Parenting Freedom: Murder by Discipline
Murdering Children into Submission
Homeschool mom, researcher

Angel, Rutledge6: Tragic Death of Lydia Schatz
Author of “Liberian Adoption: Preparing for Your Child’s Homecoming”

Megan, SortaCrunchy: When Extremists are Taken to the Extreme
Mom, author, editor-in-chief of Simple Kids

Elizabeth Esther: How Many More Children Must Die?
Mother, Writer, grew up in abusive fundamentalist church

Kathy, Quiet Garden: When Parenting Kills – What Can We Do?
Christian Ethics in Parenting
When Parenting Kills – Update
When Parenting Kills – A Challenge to Men
More Christians Speaking Out Against the Pearls
Michael Pearl Responds
Homeschool veteran, mentor, website designer

Benediction: Michael and Debi Pearl Linked to Another Child Abuse Death
Canadian, Christian, broadcast journalist

API Speaks: Parent Support is Prevention
Attachment Parenting International official blog

Anne, Muse Mama: Bring Back the Boycott
Fighting the Pearls’ Teachings
The Value of Gentle Mothering
The Pearls are Wrong
Giving Up on To Train Up A Child
Homeschool mom, nurse, tried and rejected the Pearls’ teachings

Karen Braun, Spunky Homeschool: Senseless Deception
Homeschool mom of 6, freelance writer, homeschool advocate

Wade Burleson, When Child Training Leaves to Abuse and Murder: Pearls of Wisdom for Concerned Parents
Baptist pastor, Oklahoma

Anne, Birth in Ukraine
Missionary, Homeschool mom, birth educator

Arni, I Think I Believe: Why I Will Never Spank My Daughter
Father, theology student, musician

Paul Mathers: In Which I Talk About the Terrible Event
Quoted in Salon, knows the Schatz family

Laurie, Beauty for Ashes: In Which I Speak the Unspeakable
Knows the Schatz family

Sparrow’s Nest Academy: I’m Burning All the Books by the Pearls
Homeschool mom of seven

Debra, Random Thoughts: Another Death Attributed to the Pearls
Homeschool mom of four

Aaron, Must Follow: Christians Unite Against Child Abuse

Judy, Wanna Walk Along: Even a Child Can Recognize Injustice
Popular, Pervasive, Controversial
Abhorrence Hits Me
Grandmother, Christian

Lisa, HomeSpun Life: Fundamental Discipline
Time to Speak Up, Even if it is Hard
Homeschool mom, former Pearl supporter

Smith Soup: From Another Mamma with a Heart for Liberia
Christian, Mom to 14 adopted and bio- children

Betsy, Just Another Clay Pot: Christian Brainwashing?
The World’s Most Dangerous People
Homeschool mom

Virginia, Come, Weary Moms: Child Discipline or Child Abuse?
Adding Your Voices about Child Abuse
Mother of ten, publisher of Hope Chest Home School News

Dana, Roscommon Acres: The Pearls, Abuse, and a False Gospel
In Defense of the Pearls: Some Thoughts
Homeschool mom of five

Hillary, Quivering Daughters: How Many More Little Girls Need to Die?
Heartbroken
Author of “Quivering Daughters | When Jesus Weeps ~ True Stories of Women, Authoritarianism, and the Fundamentalist Life”

The Journey: This is the Reason Why, In Jesus Name

WaterLilly: Spanking in Anger Isn’t the Problem
WaterLilly: Michael Pearl Laughs at Critics

Myrrh, Savouring Grace: Calling All Christian Families and Those Who Minister to Them

Hippie Housewife: Disciplined to Death

MamaChesire: Without Breath to Complain

MiaZagora’s Homeschool Minutes: Michael and Debi Pearl Books and Child Abuse

Vyckie, No Longer Qivering: No Greater Joy Ministries and Child Abuse
No Laughing Matter: Michael Pearl & His Chicken Mock Critics

Luci: Hold Fast

GCM Statement: It is Time to Speak Out Against the Teachings of Michael and Debi Pearl

Dr. Momma, Peaceful Parenting:
No Greater Joy Ministries “Biblical” Parenting Couple Beats Child to Death

Monica, Attachment Mama: Why Parenting Support is So Critical

Linda, Parent at the Helm: Speaking Up

Jessica, Everyday Rebel: Woman, Uncensored

Jay Allen, The Zero Boss: Michael and Debi Pearl’s “Expert” Parenting Advice is Killing Children

Therese, Keeping Along Joyfully: Christian Homeschoolers, Please Read

Eight is NOT Enough: An Open Letter

Kimberly, Raising Olives: The Pearls and Your Child’s Heart

No Greater Joy Children
New website analyzing NGJ teachings

Speaking out in the Local Community:

1. Local Homeschool Group: Intense warning to parents about the Pearl’s parenting materials

2. Greenville Church: Women’s group leader issuing warning about Pearl’s parenting materials

3. Women’s Bible study, discussion of this issue

4. Lindsey, Lutheran – Missouri Synod, homeschooling mom, speaking out online.

5. Sarah, Christian, supervisor for a local mental health agency in Arizaon, discussing with staff, recognizing similar language in parents and foster parents, devising best ways to address it.

6. A Virginia homeschool group removing all links to the Pearls / NGJ from their website.

7. Lots of emails and irl discussions. . .
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Please list in the comments or email me with examples you are experiencing of homeschool parents, leaders, and pastors speaking out in your local communities or online.

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This post is in progress. It will continue to be updated, although I know it isn’t possible to have a completely comprehensive list. If I’ve left you off, let me know!

Four years ago today Sean Paddock died.

A 4-year-old child, Sean Paddock, was killed by his adoptive mother. The child was suffocated from being wrapped tightly in blankets to keep him in bed, so tightly that he couldn’t fill his lungs to breathe. His body was covered with “layers of thin, long bruises — old and new — stretch[ing] from Sean’s bottom to his shoulder blade.”

Sean’s adopted mother relied upon two-foot lengths of plumbing supply line and parenting books by Michael and Debi Pearl to keep her children in line.

God have mercy.

At the time of Sean’s abuse and death, there was an outcry about these harmful teaching — though primarily limited to the homeschool movement both Christian and secular. Perhaps some parents were educated and dissuaded from applying the Pearls’ teaching. But the warnings were not loud enough for everyone to hear.

Now. . . now another little child has suffered and died at the hand of her parents. Lydia Schatz, just seven years old, died a few weeks ago. Again, Michael and Debi Pearl and their book “To Train Up a Child” were an obvious influence.

February will always be a month for me to remember. I believe we all need to mourn these little ones and warn other parents.

““Let the children come to me; do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God. Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it.” And he took them in his arms and blessed them, laying his hands on them.”"

–Mark 10:14-16

Lynn Harris wrote about the tragedy of Sean Paddock for Salon.Com four years ago. She’s followed that up with a recent article, spurred by the death of Lydia Schatz.

Her focus for the article is interesting, and I especially encourage those within Evangelical circles and homeschool families to take the time to read her insightful article.

It’s one thing for those of us outside the fundamentalist Christian/Christian home-schooling world to point fingers at the Pearls and voice outrage at their methods. What really matters, and what stands to have actual impact, is the outrage inside the Pearls’ world. And right now, more than ever, an anti-Pearl movement within the conservative Christian community is rising up in heated, if sometimes whispered, fury. Some say — even pray — that Lydia Schatz’s death will bring Michael and Debi Pearl exactly the kind of attention they deserve.

–Salon.Com

I first heard about the Schatz family’s tragedy a week ago Sunday. My immediate response was heartbroken, angry, “Not again. . .” disbelief.

Lydia Schatz’s funeral is over. Zariah Schatz is out of the hospital, after nearly two weeks. The other siblings are in foster care. Kevin and Elizabeth Schatz have a court date on Thursday, February 25th.

And while an immediate reaction of horror, heartsickness is justified — I believe it is important to look deeper at how something like this has happened. In light of it being another death connected with Michael and Debi Pearl, in light of the families who are not in the news but are struggling — don’t we need to ask why?

Interestingly, I’ve run across several people who have known the Schatz family quite well. While those who defend the Pearls wish they could point to “extremists” who may have had anger, abuse or mental issues, the picture so far is of a loving, Christian family; a family who loved their kids and even sought out adopting more kids. This makes people uncomfortable. No longer can we categorize the Schatz family as “other” — they are here, among us, in our Christian family and homeschool circles.

I would strongly urge you to take the time to read what Laurie has written, her insights into the Schatz family and the influences in their lives: in which I discuss the unthinkable.

Please read it carefully, prayerfully. Please see how we in our Christian, homeschool circles can be vulnerable to false teachings. Please see how warped theology can warp our actions. This is not to excuse or justify what Kevin and Elizabeth Schatz have done. This is to point out just how much loving parents can be vulnerable, and how imperative it is that the Christian church warn parents about false beliefs and abusive practices such as those taught by Michael and Debi Pearl.

I know many people want to see this as an isolated example; that there isn’t a pattern in the death of Sean Paddock and Lydia Schatz. It would be a comfort if that were so. Sadly, I believe that what comes to the attention of the media are these (sensationalized) deaths, but that abuse is going on behind closed doors in our Christian homes. Abuse that is not necessarily in anger. Rather in loving families there occurs what I see as “well-intentioned child abuse,” in which motives may be loving but actions cross a line that has been blurred by teachers such as the Pearls.

How does this happen? It helps to understand when we hear the stories of other families. Anne has been transparent about “Giving Up on To Train Up a Child.” Meggan believed the Pearls’ promises of “no greater joy,” but found herself afraid of seriously harming her child. Ann was lured by perfectionism. And Jo shares about growing up with Pearl-esque parenting and the long-term harm it has done to her family.

These are not isolated examples. These stories echo the ones I’ve heard from other parents, both in my local community and in online communities; from parents who have rejected the Pearl type of parenting, and those who are still utilizing these ideas. Christian parents are vulnerable, we are vulnerable. These teachings do not reflect the grace of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, but ensnare parents and eliminate mercy. This is why the Church must speak out in warning — individuals, pastors, lay leaders, denominations. This is hurting our families and children. We cannot pretend it isn’t happening in our midst anymore.

Lord, have mercy on us all.

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What others are saying:

Corporal Punishment and the Two Kingdoms
Timberdoodle: Discipline and Murder
Facing Abuse in the Christian Family
Abhorrence Hits Me on This
Child Discipline or Child Abuse?
Child Abuse in the Name of Jesus
Weekend Updates: Zariah
When Parenting Kills, What Can We Do?
Beauty for Ashes: In Which I Discuss the Unthinkable

(will be updated, as I’m able)

Butte County District Attorney Michael Ramsey is not turning a blind eye to the influences in the death of Lydia Schatz, presumably at the hand of her parents Kevin and Elizabeth Schatz. He has been DA for over 20 years and helped to institute the Child Abuse Response Team. DA Ramsey has not been timid in linking the quarter-inch plumbing supply line with Michael and Debi Pearl’s control-at-all-costs advice.

“…the seven-year-old was held down for several hours by Elizabeth and beaten dozens of times by Kevin on the back of her body, causing massive tissue damage. “It was torture.”"

–DA Mike Ramsey

Compare what was done by the Schatz parents to what is taught by Michael and Debi Pearl:

“…then use whatever force is necessary to bring him to bay. If you have to sit on him to spank him then do not hesitate. And hold him there until he is surrendered. Prove that you are bigger, tougher, more patiently enduring and are unmoved by his wailing. Defeat him totally. Accept no conditions for surrender. No compromise. You are to rule over him as a benevolent sovereign. Your word is final.”

From To Train Up a Child, by Michael and Debi Pearl
Chapter 6: Applying the Rod

The Pearls refused to be interviewed by the Paradise Post, unless allowed editorial control over what was reported. However, Michael Pearl did submit an e-mailed statement:

“We do not teach ‘corporal punishment’ nor ‘hitting’ children,” Michael Pearl, CEO of No Greater Joy Minstries, wrote in an emailed statement to The Post. “We teach parents how to train their children, which sometimes requires the limited and controlled application of a spanking instrument to hold the child’s attention on admonition.”

Really? Judge for yourself.

“Otherwise, tell him to bend over on the bed or couch; and while he is in this position give some choice admonition. You have his undivided attention. Slowly begin to spank. . . . I found five to ten licks usually sufficient. Sometimes, with older children, usually when the licks are not forceful enough, the child may still be rebellious. . . . A general rule is to continue the disciplinary action until the child is surrendered.

“Any spanking, to effectively reinforce instruction, must cause pain. . . For the under one year old, a little, ten- to twelve-inch long, willowy branch (striped of any knots that might break the skin) about one-eighth inch diameter is sufficient. . . . A one-foot ruler, or its equivalent in a paddle, is a sufficient alternative. For the larger child, a belt or larger tree branch is effective.”

From To Train Up a Child, by Michael and Debi Pearl
Chapter 6: Applying the Rod

No amount of “tying heartstrings” or “have fun with your children” advice can mask the harsh, controlling discipline the Pearls teach.

The Pearls are quick to shift blame,

“If indeed these parents were abusive, and that has not yet been proven by the courts, it is regretful that our teachings were not able to turn them from their predisposition to abusive habits,” he stated.

If, indeed?! A child is dead, another one hospitalized for nearly two weeks, and the other seven children conveyed this so-called discipline was normal in their home. The Pearls’ teachings could no more turn someone away from “abusive habits,” as their very instructions set parents up for normalizing patterns that lead to abuse — “defeat totally. Accept no conditions for surrender. . . five to ten licks. . . continue the spanking. . . continue the disciplinary action until the child is surrendered.”

I’ve heard several apologists for Michael and Debi Pearl and their parenting teachings. Usually the defense is along the lines of, “but you and any abusive parent is taking the teachings out of context!”

Really? Seriously? In what context is ingraining in parents an attitude of “defeat them totally” okay? In what context is is okay to use an implement to strike a 4 month old? Pull a nursing baby’s hair? Hit a toddler with a toy? Whipping (the term often used by the Pearls) on bare skin; for “every transgression”? Whipping a baby who cannot sleep? Whipping a year old for crying? Whipping a 3 y/o until “totally broken?” Using a “tree branch” to spank? No matter what the “context” this advice is harmful to both parents and children.

Other times, people defend the Pearls stating that the problems must be that a parent “disciplined in anger.” While yes, anger and rage can lead to a lack of self control, what is taught by the Pearls is harmful whether a parent is hot with anger or cold and calculating. This is an excellent reflection on that idea, Spanking in Anger Isn’t the Problem.

We, in the Church, must shine the light on this false teaching. We cannot keep silent and allow the children Jesus welcomed into His arms to be harmed in His name. We cannot allow vulnerable parents to be led down the path of abuse, as they struggle to love and discipline their children.

My God, have mercy on us all.

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Butte County Superior Court: Elizabeth, case CM032008; Kevin case CM032009

Archives of Pearls / TTUAC / NGJ

Abuse.

What an ugly word, and an even uglier reality.

The tragedy of Lydia Schatz’s death, her sister’s hospitalization and her other siblings’ abuse has me heartsick. While we don’t see this publicized all the time, abuse is happening behind closed doors even in Christian homes. We are not immune.

In light of that, I’d highly recommend the following two insightful and well-written articles articles:

When Parenting Kills – What Can We Do?

When Extremists are Taken to the Extreme

I don’t even know what to say.

Four years ago this month, Sean Paddock died at the hands of his adoptive family. Well intentioned or not, their abusive parenting influenced by Michael and Debi Pearl led to his death.

And now. Again.

Lydia Schatz, seven years old, died February 6, 2010. Her sister, Zariah Schatz is eleven and in critical condition with kidney failure and other injuries. Again, adopted. Again, parents abused them influenced by Michael and Debi Pearl.

I will not make excuses for Micheal and Debi Pearl or Kevin and Elizabeth Schatz. I am even more angry that these were Christian parents who homeschooled. Well intentioned or not, the abusive parenting influenced by Michael and Debi Pearl led to another child’s death. How many more children are being abused behind closed doors and condoned by the Church in the name of “no greater joy” and “first time obedience”? When will the Pearls take full responsibility for the harm of their teachings? When will Christian parents see through the lies cloaked in Scripture?

I hate that I even have to write about this. I hate it. I hate that people profess to follow a Christ who welcomed children are abusing children in His name.

Millstones. Lord, have mercy on us all.

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Related to Michael and Debi Pearl:

Pearls Po-Russki

Welcome, NGJ Readers!

Fruits of Pearl Parenting

Children, Good and Grown

On the Pearls and Parenting

Perfectionism and Parenting

On Perfectionism and Parenting

More on Michael and Debi Pearl

On the Pearls and Parenting, Repeat

What’s the Fuss About Michael and Debi Pearl?

From Salon.Com: More on Michael and Debi Pearl

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Related to Sean Paddock:

Justice and Mercy

Avoiding Millstones

Remembering Sean Paddock

Other’s Thoughts on Lynn Paddock

From Salon.Com: More on Michael and Debi Pearl

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Related Topics:

The Perfect Family

Parenting Freedom

Avoiding Millstones

Children, Good and Grown

Perfectionism and Parenting

On Perfectionism and Parenting

Restoring Gently and Carrying Burdens

Biblical Relationships and Behaviourism