Hana Grace Williams, 1997 – 2011
Posted by TulipGirl | Under Pearls / TTUAC / NGJ Sunday Oct 2, 2011Pulling me out of this blogging hibernation is another heartbreak. Again. Dear God, have mercy. . . not again?
I’d rather write about happy things. . . about the joy our family has in expecting our new baby, about the fun of our first safari, about the quirky experiences of living in a different culture. But, I’ve been tired lately (thanks, first trimester) and homeschooling and school-building-schooling and finishing my master’s. Writing and blogging has taken a back seat to real life.
And now. . .
Another child has died. RIP, Hana Grace Williams.
I heard rumors several months ago about yet ANOTHER death linked to Michael and Debi Pearl and their false teachings, especially in their book “To Train Up a Child” and their website “No Greater Joy Ministries.” But, it was just speculation, and I simply will NOT spread information that is not well documented. (Look through the archives here. . . everything I’ve written about false teachings is documented extensively.)
This is the “probable cause” document filed by the investigating detective which explains the abuse, cites “To Train Up a Child” and recommends the arrest of the Larry and Carri Williams. Arrest warrants were requested by investigating detective Theresa Luvera for adoptive parents for “Homicide by Abuse” and “Assault of a Child 1st Degree”. (Court reference numbers: Carri Williams 11-1-00928-8, Larry Williams 11-1-00927-0).
This is Hana Grace Williams. She was born in Ethiopia, and died at age 13 in Skagit County, Washington.
Her death was attributed directly to hypothermia, with malnutrition and helicobacter pylori chronic gastritis contributing.
“Wait!” I hear Pearl supporters saying. “That doesn’t sound like anything taught in TTUAC!”
Yes, Pearl supporters, TTUAC does NOT say to starve and freeze your child to death. But the actions taken by the Williams ARE consistent with the philosophy and teachings within TTUAC. Hosing off a child for potty accidents (including cold showers). Withholding food. Striking with a plumbing supply line. Larry Williams explained and provided the instrument to investigators: “he spanked with an instrument he picked up from a plumbing supply store. He gave us this stick. lt was a flexible white piece of plastic with a round ball on the end of it. lt was approximately 12 to 15 inches length.”
You don’t believe me? You don’t remember reading anything in TTUAC that would justify (in their minds at least) the Williams’ parenting actions? Let me refresh your memory:
Quote, from TTUAC:
So, my suggestion was that the father explain to the boy that, now that he was a man, he would no longer be washed in the house. He was too big and too stinky to be cleaned by the babywipes. From now on, he would be washed outside with a garden hose. The child was not to be blamed. This was to be understood as just a progressive change in methods. The next dump, the father took him out and merrily, and might I say, carelessly, washed him off. What with the autumn chill and the cold well water, I don’t remember if it took a second washing or not, but, a week later, the father told me his son was now taking himself to the pot. The child weighed the alternatives and opted to change his lifestyle. Since then, several others have been the recipients of my meddling, and it usually takes no more than three cheerful washings.
Quote, from the Pearls’ website:
Now, there are some flavors or textures that we just have an aversion for. Allow each child one or two dislikes, just don’t let their preferences be too limited. If a child doesn’t like what is on the table, let him do without until the next meal. A little fasting is good training. If you get a child who is particularly finicky and only eats a limited diet, then feed him mainly what he doesn’t like until he likes it.
Follow either of those with “consistency” (another key theme in the Pearls’ teachings) and it is understandable how the Williams ended up treating their adoptive children, and how it ended in the death of Hana Grace.
Lord, have mercy.
Related, here at TulipGirl:
About Lydia Schatz’s Death
About Sean Paddock’s Death
Fruits of Pearl Parenting
On the Pearls and Parenting
Avoiding Millstones
Related, offsite:
Why Not To Train A Child?
Parenting in the Name of God: Review of NGJ Child-Training Doctrine
Parenting Freedom: Another Child Dies of Punishment
Local News Story on Hana Grace
Rey Reynoso Examines the Pearls’ Parenting Methods
Skagit County Courts
I read the “probable cause” document and am stunned. The text itself is difficult to read unless you highlight it first.
The magnitude of man’s inhumanity to man continually astounds me…I am having a difficult time finding words to express myself here. May Hana Grace be at peace with God.
I read the probable cause document, and I am not a highly emotional person, but I have cried off and on about it all weekend. I am so sorry for these children and all the many ones who are not actually killed but tortured for years. How many more dead children will it take before the Pearls are stopped?
I linked to the news article last night on one of my other blogs, http://www.watchtheshepherd.blogspot.com. It’s the post, Why Am I Still Writing About Abuse?
I am also doing a series on the book Grace Based Parenting at http://www.comewearymoms.blogspot.com.
Thank you so much for all you do.
Virginia Knowles
Thanks for the heads up, TG. Horrific. Truly horrific…I’m aghast.
For those reading, a quick reminder: there is a comprehensive review of Pearl’s theology (not a pro-spanking/anti-spanking/parenting methods commentary) that documents how incidents like this can arise from NGJ’s overall thinking, in spite of the surface language of moderation.
http://scitascienda.com/scienda-store/#free
It’s a free downloadable PDF. Please, by all means, share it around. As a community of believers, we need to continue taking responsibility to examine these things and hold fast to what’s true.
I just read the probable cause affidavit and am currently in tears. I think these people would have abused their adoptive children with or with out the Pearl’s book. The methods might have been different, but they would have been abused none the less.
Virginia, I saw your latest series — looks good!
Ellen, yes, I agree that these parents had no business adopting and were probably clueless as to what they were getting themselves into. However, with the Pearls’ emphasis on “defeating totally” a “rebellious” child — it is very easy for me to see the mindset from the Pearls pushed the abuse to the extent of death. This family would have been well served to have a supportive community of adoptive parents and education on attachment and adoption.
Austin and WhiteStone, I’ve been so emotional about this, too. . . reading the “dry” legal documents was just so upsetting.
Lord, have mercy.
TulipGirl,
I didn’t know about their philosophy of “defeating totally” a “rebellious” child. When such a philosophy is combined with the advocacy of striking a child with a plumbing supply line, making the child sleep on the floor or outside as punishment (there’s a child who will hate camping!), using being out in the cold as punishment as well, washing a child outside with cold water, denying the child meals, and serving food disliked by the child until the child “likes” it … well, “defeating totally” with such methods … mind mind reels. Such writing is disgusting and should be outlawed. The Pearls are advocating denying a child basic food and shelter.
I’ve *never* been an advocate of censorship. However, such “advice” should be banned.
I’ve also read the report and I have to hand it to the investigator of being able to write a completely objective report, with no sign of her own subjective opinion. There is no way that anyone with a shred of human compassion can get to the end of this report and not shed their own tears while writing it. Kudos to the investigator for sticking to the facts and doing her job regardless of how very difficult I am sure it is for her in a case like this.
The thing that is so strikingly clear to me, is the fact that that home was so devoid of warmth, safety and human kindness that I cannot fathom what it was like for all of those children. I am sick for the way that Hana and the adopted boy were treated….sickened. And what of the people in the church of this family? What on earth were they thinking to not try and intervene on the behalf of these two children in a tangible way beyond encouraging Carri to press on? How did they address her when she complained to them?
We must be vigilant and pay attention to those who may be abused among us. We need to open out eyes and pay attention. Hana could be alive if someone had stepped up.
I am so sad over this.
The Avoiding Millstones articles can be accessed here:
http://web.archive.org/web/20000819012458/http://www.fix.net/~rprewett/millstones.html
I do not know why Rebecca’s excellent site is no longer available. I often think of something she wrote when I am trying to encourage mothers to love their children in all manner of ways. I did not think of Wayback til this morning!
Heather, I’ve accessed Rebecca’s site several time through Wayback. . . I know the Lord used her mommy-encouragement a lot in my life, when I most needed it.
Yet another adopted child from Africa dead at the hands of their parents and the extended hands of the Pearls. There is no understanding of attachment or traumatic stress issues these adoptive children often face. To discipline them physically in any way is just about the worst thing an adoptive parent can do. The blind allegiance to the Pearls and willful ignorance regarding the flawed theology underpinning their atrocious methods is baffling.
By the way, don’t bother posting anything contrary to their belief’s on their facebook page (No Greater Joy Ministries) as your posts will be deleted and you will be blocked. It’s scary that they apparently don’t even have enough confidence in their own beliefs to engage in a civil, spiritually honest discourse. Instead they must ‘whip’ any dissenters and keep the conversation decidedly one-sided. So much for their ability to stand up to the instruction for Christians to test all things against scripture.
L,
The adoption and attachment issues trouble me very, very much. I think there are very many well meaning parents who adopt who have NO CLUE about what they are getting themselves into. . . (Though, in all honesty, what parent ever really understands what they are getting into when they birth or adopt a child?!)
I’ve had people close to me involved with adoption counseling, severe RAD, disrupted adoption, adopting a child from a disrupted adoption, families with milder attachment issues. . . and I know it is HARD. . . To insert anything like the Pearls into situations where there is such trauma? So heartbreaking.
Tulip,
Agreed. I went the foster-adopt route and have dealt with the issues you’ve mentioned. An unspeakable past, trauma issues, attachment disorder, dyslexia and severe ADHD tossed in for good measure. He’s now 23 and my pride and joy. It’s been a wild adventure and continues to be, if I’m honest — once a parent, always a parent!!
But, had I ever laid a hand on my son, it would have destroyed the fragile trust that took literally years to build. The ‘will’ that the Pearl’s advocate breaking was the God-given inner strength that allowed my son to survive his horrible past. Why on earth would I seek to destroy such a beautiful, strong, gift?
The more I interact with NGJ followers the more concerned I become as I see almost cult-like tendencies emerging — I don’t toss that out casually whatsoever.
I honestly believe that the Pearls started codifying their ideas with the best of intentions. There are some worthwhile nuggets mixed in with all the tripe. But it’s not worth digging through the crap to find those nuggets, and quite frankly, many will simply be deceived if they try.
The dark veil that has hidden the truth from the Pearls and their followers is becoming more pervasive in Christian communities, not less — and that is a frightening thought.
“The more I interact with NGJ followers the more concerned I become as I see almost cult-like tendencies emerging — I don’t toss that out casually whatsoever.”
I understand.
Today someone who is defending the Pearls compared criticisms such as mine as twisting their writings “…like what atheists do with Scripture.”
C.L.,
Thank you for sharing your FREE resource. . . I’m sorry your comment was stuck in the spam-file for several days.
Wondering about this thought which came to me about 30 minutes ago — Punishment is a very real aspect of life. We deal with natural consequences (punishment) on a daily basis – if we mess up at work we can lose our jobs, if we speed we get a ticket, etc.
For Christians we understand that God is merciful, full of grace AND just – which includes that unpopular destination called hell. However, Jesus may require our obedience, but he never demands it. He quietly stands at the door and knocks and allows us the choice to open the door. The Old Testament is filled with harsh examples of punishment under the Law. Paul clearly talks about the law bringing death and not life. But Christ came to complete the Law and establish the New Covenant. So why do the Pearl’s advocate a method that is based upon the Old Covenant instead of Christ?
I apologize for writing/commenting so much. I am simply outraged and due to disability, writing feels like the only way to express my concerns and speak out somehow.