TulipGirl

Can I just brag on my Hubby for a few minutes?

Hubby’s book, Knox’s Irregulars, is now available on Amazon! I’m really proud of him (as any wife would be.) But, really, his book is GOOD. The first draft was written nearly 11 years ago, when we were in Russian language school. It was revised in Ukraine, and put on the back burner when he was in grad school. But now, it’s published!

Go over to Amazon and buy it. . . just $2.99 for the Kindle edition. (It will soon be available in paperback, as well as on Barnes and Noble for Nook.) If you don’t have a Kindle, you can download a free Kindle app for your smart phone or computer.

It’s a good book. . . Check it out. . . Over on Amazon, you can read the first few chapters for free. (Then you’ll want to read the rest of it. *grin*)

This is a copy of my “official” Amazon book review of Give Them Grace: Dazzling Your Kids with the Love of Jesus, with added linkies in the text. If you find it helpful, would you click the little “yes” icon on Amazon?
In short, Give them Grace is recommended for Christian parents, 5 stars! With caveats. . .

This is the book I wish had been published twenty years ago.

I’ve made plenty of mistakes as a mother, and I know I’ll make plenty more. Yet each year the Lord seems to help me see more clearly my need for the grace of the Gospel in my life and in my parenting. I’ve discussed with friends, with my pastor, at church potlucks, “What does it look like to reflect the Gospel in our parenting relationships?”

Increasingly these discussions of the Gospel and grace in parenting are taking place among moms in playgroups, in churches, on blogs.

But very few books have been published that really address this question in a fundamental way; very few books to pass along to friends and to say, “Hey, this really encouraged me to look to the grace of the Gospel as a mom.”

Enter Elyse Fitzpatrick and her daughter Jessica. (What a perk, writing as a team! One with the wisdom of experience, one with the fresh “this is what it feels like in the trenches” perspective.)

Key points that I really like about this book:

* Give them Grace differentiates between moralism and the Gospel: “Mormons, Muslims, and moralistic atheists all share the belief that law can perfect us, but Christians don’t. Christians know that the law can’t save us; what we need is a Savior.”

* It warns against formulaic parenting: “Giving grace to our children is not another formula that guarantees their salvation or obedience. Grace-parenting is not another law for you to master to perfect your parenting or your children.”

* It encourages going back to the what Christ has done (and often quotes one of my favorite books, The Jesus Storybook Bible), “please stop for a moment and ask yourself what percentage of your time is spent in declaring the rules and what percentage in reciting the Story.”

* It keeps reaffirming the centrality of the Gospel in all of Scripture, in all of life, “Parenting methods that assume or ignore the gospel are not Christian. The gospel must hold the center in all we think, do, and say with our kids.”

* It reminds us that we, as parents, need the Gospel, too: “In our hearts we know that’s true because the law hasn’t made us good, either, has it?”

* The questions for reflection at the end of each chapter really ARE good for reflection, not just “learn the answer, fill in the blanks”.

* Appendix Two: Common Problems and the Gospel. This is an excellent resource for helping parents re-frame their thinking and answer “What does it look like to reflect the Gospel in our parenting relationships?” Of course, considering the chart format, parents could slip into formulaic parenting. But it is more valuable as a resource than a harm, in my opinion.

That said, this isn’t quite the book that I hoped it would be. There are two main concerns that I have.

* I really wish this book had addressed children in the Covenant, and the theological implications of that. While I understand that this discussion would change the book and change the target audience, I had hoped this would have been at least discussed in part. Some of the sample conversations in the book between parent and child would have likely been a bit different had aspects of covenant theology been included.

* Give them Grace seems to lose sight of the fullness of what Christ has done when discussing punishment. I am disturbed by this sample conversation, “I am sad that I have to cause you pain. I know that you are sad too. I pray that you will understand that disobedience always causes pain. In fact, our disobedience caused the pain that Jesus felt on the cross, even though he had always perfectly obeyed and didn’t deserve to be punished.”

In effect, this sample conversation nullifies the punishment Christ bore on the cross for our sins and our children’s sins. It is communicating to the child, “even though Jesus paid for your sins, it wasn’t enough and you must be punished as well”. This seems to undermine the overarching theme of the book. “I have to cause you pain. . .” even though Jesus already took the punishment for your sin?

This isn’t a “to spank or not to spank” question, please don’t misunderstand me. Christians of good conscience and careful study of the Bible parent both with spanking and without spanking.

The issue is a theological one of equating the punishment of a child with the punishment of Christ, and communicating to the child that they MUST be punished — undermines how we communicate Christ’s full punishment for us. . . even their sins as little children.

In spite of these two concerns, I do give this book 5-stars and recommend it to Christian parents.

I remember some of the first parenting books I read twenty years ago, pulling them off the shelf when I was babysitting, reading them after the kids were in bed. Sadly, these Christian parenting books were devoid of the Gospel. They framed the parenting relationship for me in a way that led me to lose track of what was really important as a mother.

That has changed. “This is why you need Jesus, this is why Mommy needs Jesus. . .” these are the conversations I’ve been having through the years with my children. . . slowly, growing to this place of giving my children the Gospel of grace. . . imperfectly.

If only this book had been on the shelf 20 years ago. . .

My reading project this year is to draw from eleven categories and to keep track of my reading.

This is what I’ve read so far this year. I’m including those I’ve started but not finished yet, too.

1. Spiritual Nourishment:
Sacred Rhythms: Arranging Our Lives for Spiritual Transformation, Ruth Haley Barton
By His Wounds We Are Healed, Wendy Alsup
Covenant of Grace, John Murray

2. Family Husbandry:
Give them Grace, Elyse Fitzpatrick
The Well-Trained Mind: A Guide to Classical Education at Home (Revised and Updated 10th Anniversary Edition), Susan Wise Bauer

3. Read-Alouds:
Praying through the 100 Gateway Cities of the 10/40 Window
Peril and Peace, Withrow
Monks and Mystics, Withrow

4. Biographic:
David Livingstone: Missionary and Explorer, Sam Wellman
The River of Grace: The Story of John Calvin, Joyce McPherson

5. Modern Lit:

6. Nonprofit:

7. Self Care:
One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are, Ann Voskamp

8. Historic:
The History of the Ancient World: From the Earliest Accounts to the Fall of Rome, Susan Wise Bauer
The History of the Medieval World: From the Conversion of Constantine to the First Crusade, Susan Wise Bauer

9. The Church Body
Peril and Peace, Withrow
Monks and Mystics, Withrow

10. Africa:
The Fate of Africa: A History of Fifty Years of Independence, Martin Meredith
When a Crocodile Eats the Sun: A Memoir of Africa, Peter Godwin
Mukiwa, Peter Godwin
White Masaai (didn’t finish, don’t recommend)
African Friends and Money Matters: Observations from Africa (Publications in Ethnography, Vol. 37), David Maranz

11. Other:
Mama, PhD
Once a Spy, Keith Thomson
A Princess of Landover, Terry Brooks
Artemis Fowl, Eoin Colfer
The Arctic Incident, Eoin Colfer
Hunger Games Trilogy

My reading project this year is to draw from eleven categories and to keep track of my reading.

This is what I’ve read so far this year. I’m including those I’ve started but not finished yet, too.

1. Spiritual Nourishment:
Sacred Rhythms: Arranging Our Lives for Spiritual Transformation, Ruth Haley Barton

2. Family Husbandry:
The Well-Trained Mind: A Guide to Classical Education at Home (Revised and Updated 10th Anniversary Edition), Susan Wise Bauer

3. Read-Alouds:
Praying through the 100 Gateway Cities of the 10/40 Window

4. Biographic:
David Livingstone: Missionary and Explorer, Sam Wellman
The River of Grace: The Story of John Calvin, Joyce McPherson

5. Modern Lit:

6. Nonprofit:

7. Self Care:
One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are, Ann Voskamp

8. Historic:
The History of the Ancient World: From the Earliest Accounts to the Fall of Rome, Susan Wise Bauer
The History of the Medieval World: From the Conversion of Constantine to the First Crusade, Susan Wise Bauer

9. The Church Body

10. Africa:
The Fate of Africa: A History of Fifty Years of Independence, Martin Meredith
When a Crocodile Eats the Sun: A Memoir of Africa, Peter Godwin
African Friends and Money Matters: Observations from Africa (Publications in Ethnography, Vol. 37), David Maranz

11. Other:
Mama, PhD
Once a Spy, Keith Thomson
A Princess of Landover, Terry Brooks
Artemis Fowl, Eoin Colfer
The Arctic Incident, Eoin Colfer

I’m planning my reading projects for 2011.

I’m going to choose 11 categories, and choose a handful of books from each to read (and review?) this year. Some are ones that I’ve started and want to finish, or have been recommended, or have caught my eye. I also log my books now on Goodreads (thanks to Kristen! And of course, I’m TulipGirl there, too.) I’m open to recommendations! I’ll probably use this as a starting point and modify it over time. I have no pretenses that I will actually READ all of these, this is simply a way to prioritize, stay well-rounded in my reading, and see how far I get.

1. Spiritual Nourishment:
Prof. Horner’s Bible Reading Plan (modified, I’m a little slower)
Morning Thoughts, Octavius Winslow
Evening Thoughts, Octavius Winslow
A Praying Life: Connecting with God in a Distracting World

2. Family Husbandry:
Peacemaking for Families, Ken Sande
Parenting Is Your Highest Calling: And Eight Other Myths That Trap Us in Worry and Guilt, Leslie Leyland Fields
The Joy of Parenting, Lisa Coyne and Amy Murrell
Spiritual Parenting: An Awakening for Today’s Families, Michelle Anthony
The Science of Parenting, Margot Sunderland

3. Read-Alouds:
Praying through the 100 Gateway Cities of the 10/40 Window
Unbroken: A World War II Story of Survival, Resilience, and Redemption, Laura Hillenbrand
Missionary Heroism, John Lambert (free, google books)
Whatever You Do, Don’t Run: True Tales of a Botswana Safari Guide
The Safari Companion: A Guide to Watching African Mammals, Richard Estes

4. Biographic:
From Jerusalem to Irian Jaya: A Biographical History of Christian Missions
Unbroken: A World War II Story of Survival, Resilience, and Redemption, Laura Hillenbrand
Unbowed: A Memoir, Wangari Maathai

5. Modern Lit:
The Tale of Murasaki: A Novel, Liza Dalby
Wolf Hall, Hilary Mantel
A Change in Altitude: A Novel, Anita Shreve
Cutting for Stone: A novel, Abraham Verghese
A Bend in the River, V.S. Naipaul
Heart of Darkness, Joseph Conrad
The In-Between World of Vikram Lall

6. Nonprofit:
When Helping Hurts: Alleviating Poverty Without Hurting the Poor. . .and Yourself
The Networked Nonprofit: Connecting with Social Media to Drive Change, Beth Kanter
The White Man’s Burden: Why the West’s Efforts to Aid the Rest Have Done So Much Ill and So Little Good

7. Self Care:
One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are, Ann Voskamp
Real Love for Real Life: The Art and Work of Caring, Andi Ashworth
Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-Free Productivity, David Allen
Eat to Live, Joel Fuhrman

8. Historic:
From Jerusalem to Irian Jaya: A Biographical History of Christian Missions, Ruth Tucker
The History of the Ancient World: From the Earliest Accounts to the Fall of Rome, Susan Wise Bauer
The History of the Medieval World: From the Conversion of Constantine to the First Crusade, Susan Wise Bauer
Daughters of the Church, Ruth Tucker

9. The Church Body
The Supper of the Lamb: A Culinary Reflection, Robert Farrar Capon
The Next Christendom: The Coming of Global Christianity, Philip Jenkins
Real Sex: The Naked Truth about Chastity, Lauren Winner

10. Africa:
The Fate of Africa: A History of Fifty Years of Independence, Martin Meredith
From Dust to Snow: The African Dream?, Wilfed Ngwa, Lydia Ngwa
A Change in Altitude: A Novel, Anita Shreve
Cutting for Stone: A novel, Abraham Verghese
Africa Rising: How 900 Million African Consumers Offer More Than You Think
A Bend in the River, V.S. Naipaul
Heart of Darkness, Joseph Conrad
The Shadow of the Sun
Don’t Let’s Go to the Dogs Tonight: An African Childhood, Alexandra Fuller
West with the Night, Beryl Markham
Unbowed: A Memoir, Wangari Maathai
The Safari Companion: A Guide to Watching African Mammals, Richard Estes
The In-Between World of Vikram Lall
The White Nile
Whatever You Do, Don’t Run: True Tales of a Botswana Safari Guide

11. Other:
Mama, PhD
When Children Love to Learn: A Practical Application of Charlotte Mason’s Philosophy for Today, Elaine Cooper
The Shallows: What the Internet Is Doing to Our Brains, Nicholas Carr

At the beginning of the year, I set up some projects that I wanted to pursue in 2009. Some of them morphed through the year, some of them were discarded, and others added.

To summarize: Projects for 2009

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Connecting in Community Project
I feel like this project was a success. . . Even though we’ve had the spectre of moving looming, we’ve become more integrated in our church, our neighborhood, and community. We’ve been in the same house for almost 5 years — the longest I’ve ever lived in one town, not to mention one house, ever in my life. I have especially loved being part of a women’s Bible study, not just for the community aspects but also for how much focus the women put into really delving into the Bible.

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Calvin Quincentenary Project
The boys read through two Calvin biographies, and I read through half of one. *blush* I listened to a significant portion of the Institutes of the Christian Religion on MP3 and was so nourished by that. As Hubby received Calvin’s complete commentaries for Christmas, I think we’ll need to continue this project in another form next year.

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Homeschool Habits Project
Homeschooling has gone great this year! We’re using Ambleside Online as the spine of our studies, with the boys all in the same time period but different requirements for reading and writing. We wanted to devote significant time to US related studies when we returned to the States and I feel we’ve done that well. The older boys have also become involved in debate, and that has been a great addition to our schooling (and a great motivation for them, as well.)

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Regular Reading Project
I still haven’t kept up with George W., Half-Pint Megan, Civil Staci or Classical Kristen. . . but I have read more this year. Getting back to regular reading, but didn’t do many reviews.

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Family Fitness Project
Fail. . . no family 5k.

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More Music Project
While we did have “more” music, we didn’t quite have as much as I had envisioned. No piano, but T12 does have a guitar and C9 a harmonica. No live concerts, but did see The Nutcracker.

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And while I have been formulating and contemplating my 2010 projects, they are still a bit amorphous. Will post them as I flesh them out a bit more.

How can it be a large career to tell other people’s children about [arithmetic], and a small career to tell one’s own children about the universe? How can it be broad to be the same thing to everyone, and narrow to be everything to someone? No; a woman’s function is laborious because it is gigantic, not because it is minute.

–G.K. Chesterton

(Via Chris)

Those who have been visiting me here at TulipGirl for any length of time have probably noticed we have a whole category with miscellaneous writings on Theology for Girls. We are great fans of Louis Berkhof, John Calvin, St. Augustine, J. Gresham Machen, and others who have gone before, upon whose shoulders we stand.

Sometimes theology isn’t perceived to be a proper girlie pursuit. And yet, we as Believers are called to study, think, discuss, writing, meditate — all with the purpose of knowing our God and walking with Him intimately.

A couple of weeks ago a friend mentioned the book Practical Theology for Women. She pointed out the cover reminded her of our shared online community, a place where women regularly gather to discuss and work out the practical implications of the Gospel in our family lives.

So when my birthday came around and I splurged (imagine, a pocketful of Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and Borders gift cards!), I impulsively bought this book. I probably wouldn’t have bought it just based on the title and summary, but the pretty cover didn’t gave me a happy feeling and Rebecca gave it a five star review.

Wow. . . that’s a lot of background for why I bought a book. . . *L* And to think, I meant this to be a short book review!

.

When I first opened the Amazon box and saw Practical Theology for Women: How Knowing God Makes a Difference in Our Daily Lives, I was a tad disappointed. The book is such a slim little volume and when buying books new, I feel like I want to really get something substantial. Yet that disappointment quickly evaporated as I began to read.

Wendy Alsup has written a brief, accessible, but meaty introduction to theology for girls. She begins by giving a sketch of why she studies and teaches theology to women, along with a glimpse of the struggles in her life and how the Lord has carried her. She gives both a definition of theology and brief apologetic for why women should study theology. In a nutshell, she writes what my heart knows — the study of God and His attributes compels my heart to worship. Theological pursuits enable me to rest in the Lord.

The chapters are short, perfect in length for daily devotionals. Alsup is free with referencing Scripture, not just giving chapter and verse, but also quoting at length the relevant passages. Several things spoke to my soul within the first few chapters. (Oh, how I need to remember, refocus, and abide in the Lord!) But it also brought to mind some things Hubby’s mom is walking through right now, and I wanted to share this book with her before she leaves town tomorrow. I decided to read the book quickly, in order to give it to her for her trip.

Truthfully, though, this book is better read in bite-sized bits. As a devotional, as a prompt for meditation — each chapter addresses an attribute of God or the reality of His presence in our lives. The ideas are simple — but not simplistic. For those who are newly walking with the Lord or scared by the term “theology,” Practical Theology for Women is an excellent foundational Bible study. For those who have been walking with the Lord for years and perhaps are already convinced of the value of theology, this book provides a means for refocusing on the basics of our walk with the Lord.

One of the things I liked best about this book is that it would be easy to use in a one-on-one discipleship context, a small group Bible study, or just to pass along to a friend. Already there are several women in my life I know would find it encouraging to their faith and I’ve given my copy of Practical Theology for Women to my mother-in-law. Overall, I give this book a 5/5 rating.

That said, had I been Alsup’s editor, I would have suggested two small changes. First, I would have edited the chapter that focused on “being ruled by emotions” to communicate the value of the emotions God has given us. Secondly, I would have provided a short “For more study” bibliography in the back for those who would like to take the next step in theological study.

Speaking of. . . which Theology for Girls resources would you recommend?

C8, Beyond the Summerland
R10, The Iliad for Boys and Girls
T11, Father of Dragons
J12, Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone (yet again)

Gotta love Jerram Barrs. . . Cool lectures on Francis Schaeffer, great book lists for kids, and a new book coming out on God’s perspective on women in the Bible.

My friend Megan, she of four girls to match my four boys, has had the fun of not only taking classes with Prof. Barrs, but also reorganizing his library! How cool! And, she gets to give away a copy of his new book.

Yes, I’m blogging on this ’cause I want Megan to send me the book. But not just that. . . I’m sure this will be a thought-provoking book of interest to many of y’all who stop by TulipGirl.

While Hubby now has his master’s, I’m still plugging away at school. My parents gentle encouraged me to finish my bachelor’s before getting married, but with stars in my eyes I just wanted to marry and have babies. (That combined with a disillusionment with the system of higher education, tending towards the autodidactic, and wanting real-life experience. . . well. . . I’m surprised I finished my associates before tying the knot!)

Eleven years and four babies later, I started back at the local university a few semesters ago. With Hubby in school, and the boys homeschooling, it just seemed like the right time for me to start back. The boys have been my biggest cheerleaders, and we’ve had the fun of all sitting around the dining room table doing math homework. They’ve also been tolerant of the end-of-semester push to finish papers and study for finals, even when that’s meant a grumpy mommy.

We’re still working on our plans for the boys’ homeschool year, but I’m registered for classes and begin next week — Cognitive Psychology, Developmental Psychology, Religion in America and Bible (Old Testament) as Literature. See a theme? I’ve been focusing on the intersection of psychology and theology (even though the local uni doesn’t exactly offer much direction there.) At this point, I’m on track to graduate in December. (!) Blogging tends to go by the wayside during the semester, though. . .

The women’s Bible study at our church is going through Judges and Daniel. It seems like it is an excellent complement / counterpoint to the classes I’m taking. Even though I’m not able to go every week, this Bible study has been just what I’ve needed. And between the Bible study and the OT as Lit class, I’m starting to read through the OT, something I confess I haven’t done in years. This morning I woke up before the alarm clock, and it was as if the Lord were nudging me. . . Go on. . . spend some time in the Word now. . .. It was good.

Sereno Dwight on Jonathan Edwards:

“Even while a boy he began to study with his pen in his hand; not for the purpose of copying off the thoughts of others, but for the purpose of writing down, and preserving, the thought suggested to his own mind. . . . This most useful practice . . . he steadily pursued in all his studies through life. His pen appears to have been always in his hand. From this practice . . . he derived the very great advantages of thinking continually during each period of study; of thinking accurately; of thinking connectedly; of thinking habitually at all times . . . of pursuing each given subject of thought as far as he was able . . . of preserving his best thoughts, associations, and images, and then arranging them under their proper heads, ready for subsequent use; of regularly strengthening the faculty of thinking and reasoning, by constant and powerful exercise; and above all of gradually molding himself into a thinking being. . .” (Works, I, xviii)

So, this morning R9 and I were snuggling on the couch talking about books we’re reading, making pancakes, and other lazy Saturday morning meanderings. Out of nowhere he asked,

“Mommy, what is sex?”

I gulped. I so did not want to have this conversation. The boys know some basics of the birds and the bees, but in general we’ve gone with a slow, natural progression of talking about this topic.

I stayed calm. “So, where did you hear that word?”

“Right there. . .” He pointed to the bookshelf. “The Joy of Sects.”

So, the other day Hubby told me my Amazon order came in. I was surprised, since I had just placed an order the night before. But the books in the box weren’t the ones I ordered, though they had been on my Amazon list.

I didn’t see anything on the packing slip to clue me in. . . Did someone send me a surprise from Amazon?

Wild Geese by Ogai Mori
Wild Geese is considered a classic in Japanese literature. I started reading Japanese fiction (modern) when we lived in Ukraine and happened upon several books. Since finding books in English was a boon, I read a lot when we were there that I may never have picked off of a library shelf in the U.S. I discovered I really enjoy Japanese lit. Wild Geese is a story of both making opportunities and just-missed opportunities. The story revolves around a student and a concubine and the people in their lives, and is not one to read when you are in a happily-ever-after mood. Then again, Japanese lit rarely is. 8/10

(Thanks for the encouragement to post, Kristen and MbG Reading Circle!)