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July 06, 2004

Ezzo Myths and Misconceptions

I just finished reading GKGW Myths and Misconceptions. This pastor's wife and former Contact Mom writes about her struggles and mistakes in a humble and moving. Her story illustrates how easy it is for mature Christians to set aside discernment when reading the parenting materials by Gary Ezzo*, and accept the principles because they "sound right."

Some quotes:

"One thought that seems to be communicated is that every behavior has some kind of a "fix," and that if parents just do things "correctly" they can fix the problem and be done with it. Children become projects, something to fix instead of someone to love. . . .

"I thought that if I could learn all the rules, guidelines, and Biblical principles, I would know what to do--that there's always answers and it's just a matter of me learning the right answers. And subtly, inside, I believed that when I learned all the principles, I could set Christ aside, I wouldn't need to draw on Him because I could draw on my own strength. How awful! I don't blame that all on GFI, I had to take responsibility for this as my struggle. . . .

"I'd add that GKGW makes reaching the child's heart the parent's responsibility, when instead it is truly the Holy Spirit's."

Read the whole article. I can hear this mother's humility and hard-learned wisdom coming through. I'd like to have her over for a cup of coffee and ask some mom-to-mom advice like what she offers:

"If you have used GKGW and are feeling discouraged over mistakes you've made, let me encourage you, it's not too late. God can and will work in your life and in your children's lives. You can rebuild your relationship with your children if it's been damaged. Pray, search the scriptures, put the parenting books aside for awhile, and seek the Lord. Most of all, seek how you can show grace to your children."

* GKGW refers to Growing Kids God's Way which is now known as Along the Virtuous Way. Other parenting materials by Gary Ezzo include Babywise (aka Preparation for Parenting or Along the Infant Way) and others in the -Wise or Let the Children Come series. For more information, see Ezzo.Info.

Update: Carol is also blogging on Ezzo this week.


Posted by TulipGirl  |  07:52 PM|  TrackBack (0)  |   Words

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Great post. Thanks for the resources! I love that quote. "Most of all, seek how you can show grace to your children."

Posted by: Shane at July 7, 2004 06:58 AM

Thanks so much for sharing these quotes. I passed them on to some of my friends that we all might be encouraged not to see our children as "projects, something to fix instead of someone to love." That can happen using any training methodology.

God bless,

Posted by: rebecca at July 9, 2004 07:21 AM

Oh, good, Rebecca! I hope you made time to read the whole article. Very insightful. And I realized later that I "knew" the mother who wrote it when both of us were more involved with GFI. She has always had a real heart to help and encourage mothers.

Posted by: TulipGirl at July 9, 2004 06:23 PM

Thanks so much, I did read the whole article. I appreciate what she had to say and how she said it.

Posted by: rebecca at July 10, 2004 05:25 PM

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