Life, Theology, and Motherhood

A must-read post from ChewyMom.

Posted by TulipGirl | 01:42 AM| TrackBack (0) | Words

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It's an interesting take on it.

Personally, having our first two year old, we're learning that grace has a lot to do with it but you really can't ignore discipline; doing so teaches children that there are no consequences to their actions and really to not respect authority. We provide a hug afterwards, a firm understanding of our love for them and pray prior to discipline. For us, those have been must haves. We also prohibit spanking from anyone but my wife and I.

But grace...man that is a powerful tool when used properly. For me, it's almost the nuclear weapon of discipline because you really drive home a message a ton that way when they're dreading being disciplined, they know they've done wrong and really are frustrated with their behavior.
Posted by: Pete at January 11, 2006 03:32 PM

Hey TG,

Hope you don't mind if I reply to a comment on your blog! :)

Pete,

We definitely don't ignore discipline in our family. But we probably define discipline differently. We "disciple" our children. I think what you mean is that you really can't ignore punishment. And although we do sometimes have a punitive consequence for misbehavior, it usually falls under discipleship as well. We try to make it a related consequence in some way, which isn't always easy.

We used to spank. A lot. A ton, in fact. But not so much any more. I won't say it never happens, but it is so rare, I can't even remember the last time I spanked. And honestly, even though at the time, spanking seems the only option, later I often realize there was a different discipline that would've likely better made the point.

The neat thing about discipline vs. punishment, is that my children are not afraid to tell me when they've messed up. They no longer dread and fear being disciplined. They know that we will respond graciously--and sometimes with a consequence. (1 John 4:18--"There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.")

They know that even though there might be a consequence, that it will be gentle and loving, and that we sympathize with their weaknesses as Christ has sympathized with our own weaknesses. (Hebrews 4:15--"For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin.")
Posted by: chewymom at January 14, 2006 10:51 AM

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