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April 10, 2006

On Perfectionism and Parenting


I read what Ann writes on perfectionism, parenting, and the Pearls. I understand her heart, her experiences. I know the need to lean more into the Gospel, for myself and my children.

And I say, Amen.

I encourage all parents, regardless of faith background or parenting approach, to read Ann's post.

Along the lines of Ann's post, is Spunky's post A Switch or a Cross? Ann and other are involved in the comments, which are worth reading through and provide food for thought and reflections.

And to further understand how mamas are drawn to the Pearls' materials and then realize their harm, I recommend reading nutmeggmama's story and Anne's story.


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I read that beautiful post.

Ann, if you read TulipGirl's blog, I hope you know how meaningful that was.

JackLewis.net responded to the post in his comments, and they were less than kind. But I took his comments with a grain of salt.

For those of us who've been there, that post was right on.

Posted by: Anne at April 11, 2006 05:58 PM

Tulip Girl...Thank you.

Anne...your considered, thoughtful exchange with Mr. Carlton was Christlike. I appreciate hearing Mr. Carlton (Jack Lewis') perspective. We learn from listening to each other.

And we continue to learn and grow: Pearls and Perfectionism: Comments

Keep praying that we can have ears to really hear each other.

Posted by: Ann V. at April 11, 2006 11:03 PM

Ann, I've had the doxology humming in my heart reading the comments at your CH post. The dialogue seems so. . . genuine. . . edifying. . .

It takes a lot to be vulnerable the way you have been in that post, and the way many of the mamas there have been.

I had so many more thoughts when I first read your post, Ann (btw, sparrow sent me the link first!) and I haven't posted them or e-d you. . . But I want to let you know I appreciate you.

And like you said--we are continually in need of going back to the Gospel--for ourselves and for our children.

Grace and peace,

Posted by: TulipGirl at April 11, 2006 11:31 PM

I have to say that y'all were a lot more, how shall I say, "respectful" than I would have been on Mr. Carlton's site. Very impressed by the way you handled yourselves.

I had to sit on my hands to avoid punching out some invective comment - which in the end would not have done any good. Suppose I need to work on that a little bit....

Have a blessed Easter weekend.

Posted by: brian at April 13, 2006 12:05 PM

It's been a few days since you posted this, but I just came across it today. Ann, I appreciate your comments. For years now I've had the feeling that the Pearl's believed in sinless theology, or sinless perfection. I read all of the NGJ books, and tried to apply what it said. My children, like me, are less than perfect. Over a year ago, my husband and I saw the Pearls speak. He made the comment that his kids would never be divorced. My husband and I looked at each other and said, how can he know that with 100% surety? I bought Debi's book, Created to be His Helpmeet, while there. I read the whole book, but was left feeling inadequate as a wife because of her sinless perfection belief. And, because if you did things HER way, you would have a picture perfect life, be a picture perfect wife, with picture perfect husband and children. The garbage can story didn't sit well with me either, nor with my husband. Your post was another confirmation for me that what I was feeling was right on.


Posted by: Diane at April 15, 2006 10:32 AM

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