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July 26, 2006

When Mommy Yells

Last night I yelled at the boys.

C5 was quiet for a few minutes, and then in tears told me "Mommy, it hurt my head and my heart when you yelled at me."

Lord, help me. . . Give me soft answers, gentleness, kindness and self-control. . .


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(((Hug))) I pray for that very thing all the time...

Posted by: Megan at July 26, 2006 09:50 AM

Hey - it's all about grace :) (saying that is probably a huge 'duh') but I have to remind myself and my wife about that a ton when we do the same thing.

Aidan's 2 and some change and we've already apologized to him more than once for acting out of anger and yelling...

Posted by: Pete at July 26, 2006 10:32 AM

I get so tired of some frequent internet group and blog contributers telling only about how wonderful they are, how wonderful their opinions are, how marvelous their children are, and how they deal with all the doltish, stupid, people out there who somehow don't match them in brilliance and "wonderfulness," that I could yell at them. ;-)

But instead I'M YELLING AT YOU!!

*BRAVO*!!!!!!! (for being honest).

I had to write something in my blog once -- that I didn't want to "sugar-coat" life, but it looked as though that's what I was doing.

There is a balance in what to share, and what not to share, and I think we need wisdom to know the difference. But I think your saying this provides a feeling of relief for many who share the same struggles.

Thanks for the honesty . . . that was refreshing, and real, and I'm guessing helpful to many.

Posted by: Lynn at July 26, 2006 10:50 AM

Oh don't I know that prayer! The other night, Alex wouldn't go down for the night. I was so frustrated and I wasn't as gentle with him as I normally am. I felt terrible afterward.

I'll remember your prayer if that happens again.

Posted by: Jennifer at July 26, 2006 10:59 AM

This happened to me - my oldest told me the same thing. Very heart wrenching isn't it? I know God uses our little children to rebuke and quiet us.

Here's a hug from me to you!

Posted by: Trish at July 26, 2006 01:53 PM


You have something to give thanks for, here. Your child was not afraid or hesitant to tell you how he felt. There are adults who do not feel that safe in their relationships, yet your child knows how to gently reprove someone close to him.

Posted by: weathertopmama at July 26, 2006 02:17 PM

I yelled at my DD this morning. Totally uncalled for, too. Your prayer came immediately to mind, and I felt conviction from the Holy Spirit. Thank you for encouraging me to be more like Christ and continually ask Him for help.

Posted by: Ana at July 27, 2006 10:20 AM

{{{hugs}}} to you, mama. I pray that same prayer on so many occasions. You and your dh taught him how to express himself so clearly and noncoercively! (Not to say you're into NCP ;-) )

Posted by: Jocelyn at July 27, 2006 12:22 PM

If you're anything like me, a little bibliotherapy could help (along with the prayer, of course). My favorite for this occasion (for kids under 6-ish) is a book by Mem Fox called Harriet, You'll Drive Me Wild. I read it with the kiddo who has received the tongue-lashing and then we apologize to each other and hug and (hopefully) we move on. Unfortunately, it gets more use than I wish it did...

Here's hoping that those wish-I-hadn't-done-that moments are few and far between for us both!

Posted by: jenn at July 28, 2006 10:28 AM

Okay, don't everybody take this the wrong way....

But I have probably seen more kids hurt--badly hurt--by *not* being yelled at that by being yelled at.

Yes, if we all were perfect parents, we would never yell and we would always find just the right way to motivate. Would would use the right combination of logic, wit, humor, and... sternness (but not harshness) and the kids would be perfectly well adjusted and well behaved.

However, we are not perfect. And if the kids need to be corrected, I think it is better (though not, regrettably perfect) to correct them improperly than not to correct them at all.

Needless to say, I'm not talking about beating them, etc.

But there are worse things in life than being yelled at. Like being undisciplined, being disrepsectful to authority, being unthankful, being rude, etc.

So don't be too hard on yourself, Mom. We've all survived a little yelling now and then. I wonder if Mary raised her voice at Jesus when he disappeared from the family group on their way out of Jerusalem that time? It could have happened.

Posted by: nicejoest at July 31, 2006 06:08 AM

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