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Our Dinner Discussion

Gandalf vs. Dumbledore

Who'd win and why?


July 31, 2005  |  Comments (6)  |  TrackBack (0)  |  Permalink



Ten Years


And did you get what
you wanted from this life, even so?
I did.
And what did you want?
To call myself beloved, to feel myself
beloved on the earth.

--Raymond Carver


July 29, 2005  |  Comments (30)  |  TrackBack (0)  |  Permalink



Evaluating Ezzo's Leadership, Part 3: Other Concerning Patterns

When asking ourselves "Is Gary Ezzo someone I trust as a resource in my Christian walk?" there is more to consider than the pattern of unresolved church discipline.

One of the Bible passages on qualifications for Church leadership comes from I Timothy 3. It is not the only passage in the Bible about what is required for leaders, and I encourage you to look up other passages as you evaluate Gary Ezzo's qualifications.

Must be above reproach:

1. Gary Ezzo has not only been confronted about issues of integrity by elders in his church, but has a pattern of formal church discipline action that is still not resolved.

2. He has not been above reproach in the area blurring the business/ministry lines to GFI's supporters. Gary Ezzo has had questionable financial situations that resulted in Ezzo's accounting firm of nine+ years, Hamilton, Boynton, & Speakman, choosing to end its business dealing with Ezzo and GFI. Chris Hamilton, who was a long-time friend of Gary Ezzo and a partner at the accounting firm stated that Ezzo lied to him regarding an embezzlement investigation at GFI.

3. He has had prominent leaders in the Christian community publically voice concerns about his materials and qualifications for Christian leadership.

Sober-minded and Self-controlled

1. Is it sober-minded to fabricate quotes, as Ezzo did for World Magazine's Roy Maynard and quintuplet-dad Scot Shier?

2. Is it self-controlled to borrow so heavily from an article like Barbara Lerner's National Review article "The Killer Narcissists" that reading Ezzo's "Parental Affection and Character Development" seems like flagrant plagarism? Gary Ezzo was confronted about this privately, but it was not until it was mentioned in a public article that he footnoted the article to give any credit to Ms. Lerner.


1. Do you think it is a sign of respect when key employees, board memebers and supporters begin disassociating themselves from Gary Ezzo's ministry? These include:

The Abels: Eric Abel, GFI's Director of Ministries, resigned in September of 1994 because of concerns about Gary Ezzo's integrity. Eric and Julie Abel were among the original co-founders of GFI and featured on some of the earliest GKGW videos.

The Williams: Dirk Williams was president of GFI at one point. Dirk and Cheryl Williams ended their involvement with GFI and concerns about integrity were a factor.

Frank York: Read the full account of his employment with and then distancing from Gary Ezzo and GFI in Adventures in Ezzoland.

Bob Gaby: GFI's non-profit counterpart is Christian Family Heritage (CFH). Mr. Gaby resigned as Chairman of the Board and voiced concern over Ezzo’s response to church disciplinary actions of LHEF. He had been a member of the board for nine years.

Sharon Nelson: A medical doctor who has endorsed Ezzo’s books resigned as the CFH board secretary in August 2000.

Mark Severance
: A GFI spokesman and an assistant to Ezzo resigned without comment.

Paul Luedke: Ezzo’s son-in-law who had resigned without comment.

2. Is it a sign of respect when former supporters, teachers and Contact Moms distance themself from Gary Ezzo?

Laurie Moody: A prominent GFI “Contact Mom” who handled many calls about lactation concerns also resigned, stating Ezzo’s response to LHEF was a factor in her decision.

Contact Mom M: A pastor's wife and Contact Mom who was vocal on the now-defunct GFI support forum. (Sidenote: This is a mama who was very encouraging to me through the early years of motherhood. I still look up to her today. Reading what she shares in the above link really meant a lot to me.)

Another Contact Mom: Who states she no longer supports Ezzo in any way.

A 10-year GFI Teacher: Taught GFI/GKGW materials for ten years before realizing it was detrimental to her family.

Another 10-year Ezzo Family: Writes about deep regrets using Ezzo's materials.

Able to teach

1. Gary Ezzo is can be charming and convincing in his teaching videos. He can be persuasive to young parents striving to do the best for their children. But is he able to teach material that is theologically sound?

2. Is he able to effectively communicate what is Biblical and what is simply cultural? Is he able to help his readers differentiate between what is his opinion and what is fact? Looking objectively at his materials, can it really be said Gary Ezzo is able to teach?

Not quarrelsome:

1. Consider Ezzo's reaction to the World Magazine article that reported on controversies about Gary Ezzo's teachings:
"Ezzo pressured WORLD to retract statements in the article, even objecting to the word "controversial" in the subtitle claiming it created a negative spin. Ezzo also "sent letters to World editor Marvin Olasky suggesting the magazine consider asking for Maynard's resignation. He asked Maynard's church elders to take disciplinary action against him." from the Timeline.

2. Ezzo unsuccessfully attempted to press charges against Steve Rein of the Red Rhino Ezzo-related website for "hacking". No charges were filed. Steve Rein is now owner of the meticulously-documented www.ezzo.info website.

3. Ezzo successfully filed charges against Australian psychologist Robin Grille. Australia has noticably weaker free speech laws than the US, which is prehaps why Ezzo has not yet filed suits against his stateside critics. The current status of this lawsuit is unknown.

Moreover, he must be well thought of by outsiders

1. Consider Salon magazine's article, Getting Wise to Babywise. This is not simply a case of "being persecuted for righteousness' sake" but rather having a poor reputation among non-Christians because of conduct.

2. Does a seeker-sensitive church really desire to promote materials by someone so distrusted by the secular community?

3. The American Association of Pediatrics has investigated Babywise and found it be be lacking in sound medical advice, and therefore issued a broad statement against scheduled designed by parents.

4. Multnomah Press dropped the high-revenue Babywise book.

Not double-tongued

1. Anne Marie Ezzo recently stated that they do not teach "cry it out." However, crying before naptime is considered "normal" from five to forty-five minutes and many Babywise users and Contact Moms encourage one another to apply the Ezzo teachings in a way that is supportive of crying-to-sleep-train.

2. Ezzo has published a comparison chart between the Babywise teachings and AAP teachings, in spite of AAP warnings about schedules determined by parents.

3. Gary Ezzo has a pattern of name calling both in his books and in communications both privately among his supporters and publically. These include dismissing critics because of their gender, "Wow, talk about women and emotions. . . I feel like I walked into the hen house during egg laying. . ."

He has also belittled those who challenge him publicly, publicly criticized those who come to him privately, and circulated private letters against those who speak out about him publicly--as they did with an 18-page letter to close followers in response to the Christianity Today article. This letter included disparaging comments about the article's author and the critics quoted, including Frank York, former GFI editorial director.

Let them also be tested first; then let them serve if they prove themselves blameless:

After doing the research yourself, are you convinced that through the years of "testing" and ministry that Gary Ezzo has "proved himself blameless"?

Evaluating Ezzo's Leadership, Part 1: Why Bother?
Evaluating Ezzo's Leadership, Part 2: Church Discipline
Evaluating Ezzo's Leadership, Part 3: Other Concerning Patterns


July 28, 2005  |  Comments (2)  |  TrackBack (0)  |  Permalink



Evaluating Ezzo's Leadership: Church Discipline

One of the key facts that people should know in evaluating Ezzo as a Biblical teacher, is that Gary Ezzo has a pattern of not submitting to the discipline of the elders of his home church.

How can a person be trusted to teach on discipline within the home when his life shows a failure to understand discipline within the Church?

Gary Ezzo says, "A text without a context is a pretext." While I'm left scratching my head at that phrasing, to better understand the context of this church discipline post, I refer you to A Timeline of the Ezzo Controversy.

Please note that the following account of Gary Ezzo's pattern of unresolved church discipline is not "gossip." It is a factually accurate record to provide Christians with the information to evaluate Gary Ezzo's qualifications as a teacher. Read here for a complete documentation of the original sources of the below quotes. If necessary, please contact the churches for verification.

New Hampshire Church Discipline

By late 1979 -- Ezzo was considered to be one of the leaders/elders of His Vantage Point Church in Laconia, NH (This church came to be known as Lakes Region Bible Church.)

1980/1981 -- Ezzo became pastor-teacher of this church

1982 or 1983 -- Ezzo was asked to step down from leadership in this church amid complaints of authoritarianism, exclusivism and divisiveness.

Grace Community Church

Spring 1993 -- Grace Community Church elders "asked Gary Ezzo to be more accountable to them" Source: Oct '97 GCC Elders' Statement Regarding Gary Ezzo and Growing Families International

June 1993 -- Ezzo announced plans to resign from the pastoral staff at GCC but to continue as a lay elder.

Mid-1995 — GCC's pastoral staff met with Gary to discuss concerns about doctrinal and biblical content of GFI materials. Gary "promised to make changes in his material to alleviate everyone's concerns."

Mid-1995 — The promised changes were never submitted to the pastoral staff. Instead, Gary resigned as an elder and withdrew from GCC completely.--Source GCC Statement Regarding Gary Ezzo and GFI

July 18, 1995 — Gary's pastor at GCC, Dr. John MacArthur, wrote to Gary upon Gary's resignation from the elder board to summarize and "put to rest" an apparently unfruitful discussion concerning GCC's decision to drop GFI materials and remove them from the church's bookstore. While MacArthur expressed his affection for the Ezzos he also noted his dissatisfaction with Gary's behavior. . .

October 16, 1997— Grace Community Church issued a public statement "A Statement Regarding Gary Ezzo and Growing Families International" to explain why GCC is no longer affiliated with Gary Ezzo and GFI and why they no longer use or endorse GFI materials.

October 26, 1997—The Ezzos' initial public response to GCC's statement stated that they were "under the care and guidance and spiritual authority of the elders" at Living Hope Evangelical Fellowship and promised that these elders would conduct a "thorough investigation." Two of the three elders were on GFI's staff at the time.

November 11, 1997— The Final GFI response to Grace Statement disputed at length issues like the dates of the meetings mentioned in the GCC elders' statement and whether the GCC elders had pursued resolution of the issues aggressively enough. It was "reviewed" and "approved" by elders at Living Hope Evangelical Fellowship. No longer available on GFI's website, but I have reproduced it here.

June, 2005--Grace Community Church staff pastor Adam Bailie reaffirms GCC's position that Ezzo was under church discipline when he left GCC and confirms that Ezzo's children have chosen to limit their interaction with him. (See the linked posting and also the clarification in the comments thread.)

The concerns about Gary Ezzo and Grace Community Church can be summed up by what Pastor John MacArthur, who knew and worked with Gary Ezzo for many years, wrote "It appears rather obvious on biblical grounds that Mr. Ezzo's refusal to heed his own church's discipline disqualifies him from Christian leadership or public ministry in any context. After all, the first and most important qualification for those who would lead the church is that they be above reproach (1 Timothy 3:2, 10; Titus 1:6)."

Original Grace Community Church Statement
Revised Grace Community Church Statement
Note from Phil Johnson, GCC statement author
Pastor John MacArthur's Comments

Living Hope Evangelical Fellowship

September 1999 -- Gary approached his pastor at Living Hope Evangelical Fellowship for advice regarding his son-in-law's misappropriation of GFI money.

December 1999 — Ezzo's pastor/elders at LHEF recommended that he take a "personal and spiritual sabbatical" to focus energy on repairing broken family relationships and the crisis within his company. Gary refused and started to express concerns about LHEF leadership, spreading an "ever widening circle of lies".
Source: LHEF's excommunication statement

Mar 9, 2000 – The Ezzos informed LHEF that they were withdrawing from the church, claiming concern over the elder board's integrity. Source: Resignation Letter, dated Mar 9 2000

April 2000 — LHEF issued an excommunication statement citing Gary Ezzo's pattern of sin and unrepentent behavior.

Aug 2000 – Gary and Anne Marie Ezzo sent a report to GFI supporters about their church's discipline of them and how they responded to it.

"In our attempt to stay above reproach and respond prudently
to LHEF's accusations, we invited two committees of men,
independent of each other, to come to Los Angeles, review the
charges, and evaluate the context of our departure."

One committee was composed of GFI Regional Administrators (GFI 'full-time missionaries' who assist in training GFI class leaders, etc), and the other was a committee of unnamed supporters. Both groups concluded they could "continue to affirm" the Ezzos. In other words, they may have been independent of each other, but they were not independent of GFI. --Sources: GFI documents: "Independent Committee Review, July 14, 2000" and "Regional Administrator's Committee Summary, July 10, 2000.

I agree with the heartfelt sentiment that sums up the LHEP statement, "Although his excommunication from our church means that LHEF is no longer carrying out a process of restoration we pray that God will use this measure to win back Gary's heart and restore truth and integrity to his life."

Original LHEP Discipline Statement
Expanded LHEP Discipline Statement

Seacoast Church

At this point, Gary Ezzo is active at Seacost Church in South Carolina. It is unclear how the pastoral staff/elders at Seacoast have addressed Gary Ezzo's issues of unresolved church discipline nor is it clear to what extent Gary Ezzo has placed himself under the authority of the local church.

Seacoast Church has allowed Gary Ezzo to distribute information about his materials and endorsed the use of GFI materials as part of their "Parenting Ministry."

Evaluating Ezzo's Leadership, Part 1: Why Bother?
Evaluating Ezzo's Leadership, Part 2: Church Discipline
Evaluating Ezzo's Leadership, Part 3: Other Concerning Patterns


July 23, 2005  |  Comments (16)  |  TrackBack (0)  |  Permalink



Evaluating Ezzo's Leadership: Why Bother?

In a previous post, the question was raised:

Please help me understand the emphasis on the author [Gary Ezzo] rather than the materials. . .

Gary Ezzo was a pastor and is now the head of an international for-profit ministry that espouses to teach "Biblical parenting" to Christian families and use its secular materials as an outreach and resource to non-Believers.

While not currently in a pastoral role, because of the nature of his ministry he is in a leadership position in the Church. As a leader, he should meet the Biblical qualifications of a leader.

I Timothy 3 is just one passage that teaches Christians about the qualities a leader in the church should possess.

Because the Bible places an emphasis on the qualifications for a church leader, I place emphasis on providing information for Christians to evaluate whether Gary Ezzo is someone they are willing to accept as a Biblical teachers in their lives.

I didn't always do this. At one point in my life I assumed that Christian teachers were, in general, trustworthy. That if a good Christian friend recommended a teacher, then that teacher was a good source of Biblical teaching. I regret that I have not always been careful and discerning in the teachers I have trusted.

I once believed that Gary Ezzo was a trustworthy resource for Biblical teaching. I now see that I was not discerning.

Evaluating Ezzo's Leadership, Part 1: Why Bother?
Evaluating Ezzo's Leadership, Part 2: Church Discipline
Evaluating Ezzo's Leadership, Part 3: Other Concerning Patterns


July 23, 2005  |  Comments (4)  |  TrackBack (0)  |  Permalink



Coming Soon. . .

World Breastfeeding Week
August 1-7, 2005


July 23, 2005  |  Comments (3)  |  TrackBack (0)  |  Permalink



The Journey: Update

A couple of weeks ago, I linked to Marsupial Mom sharing about part of her walk with the Lord, including coming to Reformed theology. This is a follow-up.

The Journey, Part 1
The Journey, Part 2
Missy's Hubby's Input
What is Reformed Theology?

I've been very blessed and encouraged reading this, and I think you will be, too. So much of it sounds familiar--the same song, different tune. . .

Thanks for sharing, Missy.


July 22, 2005  |  Comments (5)  |  TrackBack (0)  |  Permalink



String Beans and Onions And Big Juicy Lemons

Today's soundrack is my boys singing jazz. . .

Yes, we have no bananas
Louis Prima version

(Oh yes,) We have no bananas
We have no bananas today
We got string beans and onions
And big juicy lemons
And all kinds of fruit and say…

We got an old fashioned tomato
A Long Island pot-at-o
(Oh yes,) We have no bananas
We have no bananas today

There’s a fruit man on our street
Whose name is Mr Pete
And he keeps good things to eat
But you should hear him speak
When you ask him anything
He never answers no
He just “Yeses” you to death
And then he takes your dough

(Oh yes,) We no gotta the banana
We no gotta the banana today
We gotta little beans and a big beans
The red beans and the white beans
And all kinds of beans and say…

We gotta the old fashioned salami
Mmmm we even gotta the Brooklyn pastrami
(Oh yes,) We no gotta the banana
We no gotta the banana today

Business got so good with him
He wrote home to say
“Send Pasquali, Nick and Jim
I need help right away”
When he got them in the store
There was fun you bet
Someone asked for bananas
And then the whole quartet

(Oh yes,) We have no bananas
We have no bananas today
(We have peppers, and carrots, and celery, and olives)
But we got no bananas today
(Who asked you for bananas anyway?
Ahh, who asked ya?
I only want a hotdog sandwich
Hotdogs are better than bananas
I always say, ain’t it?)

(Oh yes,) We have no bananas
(We have no bananas today)


July 21, 2005  |  Comments (2)  |  TrackBack (0)  |  Permalink




The boys got a book on Ukraine from the library. I got an e-mail from a teammate in Kyiv with greeting from Babushka. I haven't done well in e-mailing our Ukrainian friends.


I'm feeling sad and sentimental and missing Ukraine.


July 21, 2005  |  Comments (3)  |  TrackBack (0)  |  Permalink



A Bit About Mrs. Judge Roberts

Info from K-Lo:

Since the Washington Post wrote about Bush's women and abortion today, how about Judge Roberts's? John Roberts's wife, Jane, has served as executive vice president of Feminists for Life one of my favorite groups).

And did you know they have two adopted children?

(Hat tip: Hubby)


July 19, 2005  |  Comments (2)  |  TrackBack (0)  |  Permalink



Counting Chickens

Said urgently, in quick succession.

R6: Mom, don't count your chickens!

R6: Mom, don't count your chickens before they're hatched!

R6: Mom, remember what happened the first time you counted your chickens? Before you knew what it meant?


July 18, 2005  |  Comments (2)  |  TrackBack (0)  |  Permalink



Overheard, Mockingbird

R6: A mockingbird, a mockingbird!

T7: What is he mocking?

R6: He's making fun of our house. Oh now, he's run off! I hate that the run off after making fun of our house or our tree.


July 18, 2005  |  Comments (3)  |  TrackBack (0)  |  Permalink



Ezzo Week 2005 Round-Up

Gary Ezzo's 2005 Alumni and Leadership Conference at this church in South Carolina ended this weekend. Reportedly, over 300 people from all over the world were in attendance to be trained. I haven't yet seen an article or blog post about the conference, but am interested in feedback from attendees or an official report from the Ezzos.

Interestingly, Gary and Anne Marie's home church, Seacoast, didn't host this conference or publicize it online. (Seacoast Church and the head pastor several pastors, Geoff Surratt, Chris Surratt, Shawn Wood, have their own blogs.) I wonder how they reconcile the fact that Gary Ezzo still has unresolved church discipline issues still lingering, from the last two churches he attended?

Speaking of. . . On the fairly new Pyromaniac blog, Phil Johnson mentiones "shady" Gary Ezzo in yesterday's post. Considering he has firsthand experience Gary Ezzo and even wrote the Grace Community Church statement of non-endorsement, I wonder whether he's going to continue to help enlighten the evangelical community about Ezzo's faulty teachings? Thanks, Phil, for joining in Ezzo Week 2005 blogging.

Ezzo-related blogging this week:
Yellow Rose has posted a series from the old GFI Forums.
Conversations 1 * Conversations 2 * Conversations 3 * Conversations 4 * Conversations 5 * Conversations 6 * Conversations 7

Maternity Genes mentioned Ezzo specifically in a post more generally about "Cry It Out," and got quite extensive responses.

Christine asserts God is wise. . . Ezzo not so much!

The Seven Realms questions whether Anyone Has a Millstone?

Mama Domain makes some controversial comments--and doesn't limit them to just Gary Ezzo.

Ellen reigns her new path as a stay-at-home-mom with the decision to wing it--not wise it.

The RE's Muse is struggling with whether to follow the Babywise advice, and to what degree. She calls herself a "new mom with no clue." Ezzo is very appealing to new mamas in that he offers confident and certain advice, and promises happy results.

Hank and family are thankful they get to go to the GFI Conference, and mention how it was a blessing---though it required great faith to leave their special-needs baby with other caregivers.

Christian offers a positive book review of Babywise, but with a caveat.

Metamorphosis isn't looking forward to the new GKGW class--and feels like she ought to be.

Bravus and Suze like the Ezzo's principled approach to politeness training. Ezzo's words can sound good, but looking at his pattern of behaviour, well. . .

And as mentioned earlier this week:
Fresh Milk Delivered Daily: Beneath the Stains of Time the Feelings Disappear
SandKsMama: Growing Kids Gary's Way
: Prep Transcripts
Reasons Why: Ezzo and the Shy Child

Any I've missed? Please let me know!

And so this wraps up Ezzo Week 2005--unless we end up doing an Aussie version at the end of September. . . Feel free to join the ongoing conversations at AwareParent.Net and the PP Ezzo Board.

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,


July 17, 2005  |  Comments (23)  |  TrackBack (0)  |  Permalink



A Day Away From Sanctified

I call to you
With one lung exploded
From breathing the dust of the earth
With my tongue eroded
From licking the crust of the earth
A tear away from reconciled
A prayer away from whole
Restore my soul…

I cry to you
With two eardrums blistered
From laughing with preachers of night
With my vertebrae twisted
From dancing with creatures of night
A day away from sanctified
A breath away from whole
Restore my soul…

I crawl to you
With ten fingers smoking
From turning the pages of sin
With my spirit choking
From earning the wages of sin
A bridge away from justified
A step away from whole
Restore my soul…

Restore my soul


July 17, 2005  |  Comments (0)  |  TrackBack (0)  |  Permalink



Babywise and Breastfeeding: The Realities

Dr. Matthew Aney a practicing pediatrician in California, states:

"On Becoming Babywise, has raised concern among pediatricians because it outlines an infant feeding program that has been associated with failure to thrive (FTT), poor weight gain, dehydration, breast milk supply failure, and involuntary early weaning. A Forsyth Medical Hospital Review Committee, in Winston-Salem N.C., has listed 11 areas in which the program is inadequately supported by conventional medical practice.

. . .

I have reviewed numerous accounts of low weight gain and FTT associated with "Babywise" and discussed them with several pediatricians and lactation consultants involved.

. . .

This advice is in direct opposition to the latest AAP recommendations on newborn feeding (AAP Policy Statement, "Breastfeeding and the Use of Human Milk," Pediatrics, Dec. 1997):

"Newborns should be nursed whenever they show signs of hunger, such as increased alertness or activity, mouthing, or rooting. Crying is a late indicator of hunger. Newborns should be nursed approximately eight to 12 times every 24 hours until satiety."

Ezzo-related delayed growth, slow weight gain and Failure to Thrive is sadly common. Our son was one of those babies who seemed to do great with Babywise and then was diagnosed Failure to Thrive. Lori's son was hospitalized when he was less than a month old due to dehydration and FTT.

For every Failure to Thrive diagnosis, there are many undiagnosed examples of delayed and slowed growth. If you spend any time among Ezzo mothers, you'll commonly hear reassurances that it is common for babies to thin out, be "petite", slow their growth rate, be smaller than their peers. And yes, while half of babies are below the 50th%--this common pattern of Ezzo mothers are seeking reassurance for their small babies is disturbing.

Chapter Four of Along the Infant Way (the "new" Preparation for Parenting and "Christian" Babywise) is titled "Facts on Feeding." That title implies that the material contained within that chapter is factually accurate. On the contrary, it is mostly comprised of Ezzo's opinions, the Parent Directed Feeding "philosophy," partial-truths, and medically unsupported claims about breastfeeding the PDF way.

Sadly there are just enough actual breastfeeding facts scattered about the chapter, that a new mother with limited knowledge of breastfeeding will assume the rest is accurate. Without more experience or knowledge, it can be difficult to discern Ezzo's faulty feeding "facts."

I recommend to all mothers, both those who are planning on using Ezzo's ideas and those who have rejected them, to read the following carefully-documented articles about how breastfeeding works:

How Does Milk Production Work?
by By Kelly Bonyata, BS, IBCLC

Examining the Evidence for the Cue-feeding of Breastfed Infants
by Lisa Marasco, BA, IBCLC and Jan Barger, MA, RN, IBCLC

While what Ezzo teaches about feeding may line up with the needs and supply of some infant/mother nursing dyads, there is a hard-to-ignore pattern of Ezzo's parent-directed feeding undermining mothers' milk supply. This collection of case studies was documented by a then-GFI supportive breastfeeding counselor who was volunteering as an Ezzo Contact Mom.

The mothers I have known who have breastfed while using the ideas presented in Babywise have usually struggled with milk supply, typically around 4-5 months, and often transitioning early to formula feeding. It is also common to hear Ezzo moms discussing starting solids earlier than the AAP recommended 6 months because their babies seem hungry and unsatisfied with breastmilk. Again, these situations are common among mothers who are very supportive of Babywise and are seeking advice among other pro-Ezzo parents.

Of course, Gary Ezzo will disagree with the breastfeeding information provided in this post--and he does in this article on the GFI website, "Myths and Misconceptions". Gary Ezzo can be persuasive--but look closely at what he writes. Does he really back it up with medical documentation or simply make assertions based on his opinions?

This post is part of the Ezzo Week 2005 series focusing on Gary Ezzo's parenting teachings.


July 16, 2005  |  Comments (5)  |  TrackBack (0)  |  Permalink



Breastfeeding and Babywise: The Practicalities

The mamas I've known who have been successful in breastfeeding until one year (per the AAP recommendations), have usually altered the Ezzo PDF guidelines significantly.

These are the most common modifications.

1. Never going beyond 3 hours between feedings, except for when baby is sleeping at night. (Current Ezzo materials assume it is normal for babies at 9-15 weeks be going between 3-4 hours, and be down to 4-6 liquid feedings at 4-6 months.) After losing my milk supply while breastfeeding my first, I attempted to never go beyond 3 hours when feeding my second. I still lost my milk supply, but not until 6-7 months.

2. Follow an Eat/Wake/Eat/Sleep cycle, instead of the Eat/Wake/Sleep cyclef. I have seen this advocated by a Contact Mom, but can't remember who. This is what we started to do when our third son was born. (Later we went the route of cue-feeding. I was able to successfully breastfeed my third while cue-feeding, and may have been able to on an eat/wake/eat/sleep cycle.)

3. Breastfeed at night. While one of Ezzo's selling points is the promotion of "sleeping through the night" from an early age for babies, because of the way the breastfeeding hormones work, many mothers have found the best way to keep up their milk supply is to have at least one and possibly two night nursings throughout the duration of the nursing season. Experienced moms have found that this night nursing does not cut into their rest or their baby's rest as much as Ezzo warns.

4. Switching to cue-feeding, and building routine and rhythm in other areas of their infant's day.

I think these article provides some good ideas:
But I Don't Want to Nurse All the Time OR Watch the Clock!
Establishing a Routine While Breastfeeding
Breastfeeding and the Bible

Soooo. . . feedback from breastfeeding, Babywise moms. . . What's worked for you?

This post is part of the Ezzo Week 2005 series focusing on Gary Ezzo's parenting teachings.


July 16, 2005  |  Comments (8)  |  TrackBack (0)  |  Permalink



Harry Potter Just Arrived!

I was hoping-hoping-hoping it would arrive today!

But was still surprised it did.

Good job, Amazon.com!


July 16, 2005  |  Comments (6)  |  TrackBack (0)  |  Permalink



First of Many

The first of my friends to finish the new Harry Potter book.

Here's their spoiler thread.

I haven't read the book or the thread yet. I like surprises.

Last time a HP book was released, I had friends stateside who ordered it from Amazon and had it arrive the day it was released. So, I'm hopeful. . . We had to wait nearly two months before it was released in Kyiv in English, and then paid full price.

I'm really looking forward to this book, though I want to have mid-level expectations so I'm not disappointed.


July 16, 2005  |  Comments (0)  |  TrackBack (0)  |  Permalink



Finding "God's Way" in Parenting

The class ended, and we "graduated'. I was so excited aboout all the knowledge we had acquired -I felt like I had *THE* key to parenting, and couldn't understand why everyone that I told about it wasn't as excited as I was. I so wanted "likeminded" friends, and began to struggle over whether or not to continue friendships with non-Ezzo families. I was very worried about the potentially negative influence on Susannah by those children who were not being raised "God's way". I was feeling a little isolated, but was finally confident in my parenting - I just KNEW that I was doing the right thing and raising Susannah the right way.

Well, as life will, things changed. In a relatively short period of time, I got pregnant, had a *major* falling out with my best friend, my sister moved away, my husband's company fell apart, and our church split. Suddenly, some of those black and white "principles" weren't working in what was our new reality. . .


SandKsmama has posted part one of her experience with Growing Kids Gary's Way. I hope she's able to post part two online soon!

Many parents I have spoken to have said they finally realized that they weren't alone, when they started reading about the experiences of other families who used Ezzo's ideas. They saw that the struggles they had were not because they weren't being consistent with the principles--but that the ideas were flawed and not good for their families.

Read more stories from Ezzo parents at Voices of Experience.

This post is part of the Ezzo Week 2005 series focusing on Gary Ezzo's parenting teachings.


July 15, 2005  |  Comments (1)  |  TrackBack (0)  |  Permalink




Today I've been getting a lot of training a puppy, puppy training, how to train a puppy spam.

Reminds me of PuppyWise.


July 15, 2005  |  Comments (0)  |  TrackBack (0)  |  Permalink



Ezzo-made Morality?

KatieKind provides for her readers a partial transcript of a Gary and Anne Marie teaching tape. You can read the conversation and see how Gary Ezzo abandons Biblical morality for moral standards of his own making--in this case making a feeding schedule into a matter of morality.

Related to this is Tony Payne's article, The Ethics of Ezzo, published by Matthias Media in Australia where Ezzo's influence has been growing.

This post is part of the Ezzo Week 2005 series focusing on Gary Ezzo's parenting teachings.


July 14, 2005  |  Comments (4)  |  TrackBack (0)  |  Permalink



Gary Ezzo and the Stains of Time

Mollie blogs on the concerns she sees at the heart of the Ezzo issue in beneath the stains of time the feelings disappear

". . .the darkest aspect of the teachings of ezzo and the like is not in the abandonment of babies and small children to cry themselves to sleep, not in the slapping of infants and toddlers for acting on God-given curiosity, heinous as i believe those abuses of power to be. these are only glimmers of the scariest thing of all, the obsession with having control. the need to look the part of the perfect Christian parent, to never be embarrassed by a disruptive toddler, a goofy looking teenager. the need to have every moment a picture of perfection, with children who do not express any emotion other than smiling compliance at every command, the family climate set at a breezy sixty eight degrees year 'round.

. . .

does Christ demand perfection of me? no! my only perfection comes from Christ alone, not from orchestrating a perfectly regimented lifestyle. why would i expect more of my child than Christ expects from me?

does Christ taunt me with sin and then slap me down and manipulate me and punish me every time i disobey? no! he covers me with grace and mercy for every minute of my life. when the King has forgiven my debt of "twenty years' wages", why would i in turn expect my child to pay to me the debt of "one day's wage?" (matthew 18:21-35)

does God answer me when i cry out to him, my father? yes! there is comfort and healing found in Christ. why would i then not answer the cries of my infant?

why would i not do everything i could to parent my child in the way God parents me?

This post is part of the Ezzo Week 2005 series focusing on Gary Ezzo's parenting teachings.


July 13, 2005  |  Comments (8)  |  TrackBack (0)  |  Permalink



Ezzo and the Moral Reasons Why

Reasons Why is joining in our Ezzo Week blogging with a post focused on normal development, shyness and the Ezzo's weird moral constructs.

Brian sums it up in Ezzo on the Shy Child:

"This may seem like a trite example but it is typical of the way Ezzo constructs his program. Good principles like respecting age(as he mentions in the last sentence) are twisted to fit Gary's own personal application of that principle and then he elevates it to a moral standard which never existed in the first place.

Don't say you haven't been warned."

Update: This Reasons Why post is included in this week's Christian Carnival.

This post is part of the Ezzo Week 2005 series focusing on Gary Ezzo's parenting teachings.


July 12, 2005  |  Comments (1)  |  TrackBack (0)  |  Permalink



Moving and Redecorating

Megan has not only gone through a cross-country move this summer, but has also moved her blog to a new url, http://www.halfpinthouse.com/. She's also had it redesigned! I love the new look, but it's still our Megan writing about her Half Pint House.


July 12, 2005  |  Comments (0)  |  TrackBack (0)  |  Permalink



My Mountain Sister

My sister and her family.


My sister's mountain.


July 11, 2005  |  Comments (3)  |  TrackBack (0)  |  Permalink



What is Ezzo Parenting?

Ezzo Parenting Controversy 101: A summary of Ezzo parenting and the context of the Ezzo parenting discussion.

Gary Ezzo and Babywise: Key concerns in Ezzo's character and the teachings found in Babywise, from a Christian perspective.

Timeline of Ezzo Controversy: In this document, you'll see that the criticisms of Gary Ezzo stretch back over time, because of consistent patterns of behaviour and problematic teachings.

Want to learn more? Ask your questions in the friendly discussion atmosphere of AwareParent.net, a meeting ground for concerned parents across the spectrum to dialogue in the interest of truth and loving our children.

This post is part of the Ezzo Week 2005 series focusing on Gary Ezzo's parenting teachings.


July 11, 2005  |  Comments (0)  |  TrackBack (0)  |  Permalink



What I'm. . .

Drinking: Imperial Coconut Iced Tea
Reading: For Your Own Good
Wearing: A sarong, from my Mom
Listening: CD from Hymns for a Kid's Heart
Thinking: Choosing a major, when I return to college
Watching: Google Earth
Playing: Sharks & Minnows with the boys
Cooking: With Hubby's new wok


July 10, 2005  |  Comments (5)  |  TrackBack (0)  |  Permalink



Like Little Children

“At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, ‘Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?’

He called a little child and had him stand among them. And he said: ‘I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me. But if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.’”

Matthew 18:1-5 NIV


July 10, 2005  |  Comments (0)  |  TrackBack (0)  |  Permalink



What Ezzo Says. . .

Pulling from the archives, these quotes were gleaned by an online friend who doesn't blog. All of these quotes are directly from Gary Ezzo. They speak for themselves.

Part I: What Ezzo Says About Me. . .
Part II: What Ezzo Says About My Kids. . .
Part III: What Ezzo Says About Babies and Toddlers. . .
Part IV: What Ezzo Says About Punishment. . .

This post is part of the Ezzo Week 2005 series focusing on Gary Ezzo's parenting teachings.


July 09, 2005  |  Comments (1)  |  TrackBack (0)  |  Permalink



It's Ezzo Week 2005!

Gary Ezzo's GFI National Leadership & Alumni Conference will be held next weekend at Citadel Square Baptist Church in Charleston , SC. In recognition of this annual event, we will be featuring posts related to Gary Ezzo and his parenting teachings.

If you want to join in the conversation, feel free to post in the comments. Or, pop on over to the AwareParent discussion board or the PP Ezzo board.


July 09, 2005  |  Comments (2)  |  TrackBack (0)  |  Permalink



Solidarity with our British Friends

To the British readers of Le Sabot & TulipGirl, we just wanted to join with a lot of other American bloggers in expressing sympathy for your losses on 7/7. And also our admiration for the way Londoners responded to the attacks. Our family is praying for those injured, and that the terrorists responsible will be quickly brought to justice

union jack.jpg

(Sentiments shared from Hubby, of Le Sabot.)


July 08, 2005  |  Comments (0)  |  TrackBack (0)  |  Permalink



Finally Saw Francisco

I hadn't had a haircut since, oh, January or so. And then when we knew we'd be returning to the States, I wanted to forgo the easy miscommunication always involved with getting my hair cut in Ukraine and wait until I could see Francisco.

I called not long after we arrived back in the States. Unfortunately, Francisco was getting ready to go visit family in Peru. I had an appointment for the day he returned, but then he had flight trouble and so it was canceled.

The next appointment was delayed because of, well, getting settled in here. I had an appointment last Saturday and it was cancelled because of sickness. My hair was past the shaggy stage, but to the too-long-to-do-anything-with, not-long-enough-to-put-up stage. It was just not right. But I'm very loyal, and though I was REALLY ready for a haircut, I wanted to wait until he was available.

So this morning I got in to see Francisco! Here's a self-photo.



July 08, 2005  |  Comments (6)  |  TrackBack (0)  |  Permalink



Reformed Theology 101

To answer a comment on a previous post, I was wondering whether anyone has recommendations for articles online that provide a quick and painless summary of Reformed Theology?


Laura recommends Reformed: A Definition, What Does It Mean We Are Reformed?, and What Is The Reformed Faith?

Dawn recommends Reformed.org with some reservations, but especially likes the Books and Calvinism/Soteriolgy sections.

Derek likes Monergism.com as much as I do.

Any other recommendations?


July 08, 2005  |  Comments (7)  |  TrackBack (0)  |  Permalink



New, Experienced Blogger!

A homeschool mama I knew way-back-before-I-had-kids is now blogging!

Check out Jill Novak's Through the Windowpane.

I'm sure there will be much mommy-inspiration, and ideas for writing and homeschooling. As I've mentioned before, She and her family also hold workshops on The Gift of Family Writing.


July 07, 2005  |  Comments (1)  |  TrackBack (0)  |  Permalink



The Journey, Part 1

Marsupial Mom posts very candidly about the journey of faith that the Lord has walked her along--from Word of Faith to Toronto Revivalism to Reformed theology.

I appreciate how transparent she's been in sharing what God has done in her life. And her story is another testimony to God's sovereignty in the lives of His people.

I'm looking forward to reading more of what Marsupial Mom writes about her faith.


July 06, 2005  |  Comments (3)  |  TrackBack (0)  |  Permalink



Blogging Pet Peeves

I never noticed it until I heard someone (Tim? Valerie?) mention how much it bugged them when a person referred to a blog post as a "blog." Now it bugs me, too.

But what is a bigger pet peeve is when I am following a discussion on a blog, and then the blog owner starts deleting comments that disagree with him. Or simply deletes comments that don't put the blog owner in the most favorable light.

I understand that a blogger has the freedom to control who and what gets discussed on their blog. But it still bugs me when comments are deleted when they have been thoughtful and respectful. (Hey--I'm all for deleting flamers and spammers!)

And then there is another level. . . One at which I simply shake my head. That is when an original post is slightly modified to make the blog owner look better, and any dissenting comments are deleted--as if it never existed. Sure, I understand people changing their minds, but be honest! Post about it!

When people delete respectful comments solely because they hold another view and pretend they haven't done so--I simply lose respect for them as bloggers. It lacks integrity. And there are a couple of people I just will not link to because I've seen happen on more than one occasion.

Pet peeve vent over.

Public Service Announcement: If you're reading this, it's very likely that I'm not talking about you!

PSA, take two: If you've ever had a comment deleted from this blog, I apologize profusely. And believe me--it was inadvertently done while deleting spam. . .


July 06, 2005  |  Comments (12)  |  TrackBack (0)  |  Permalink



Goo-goo-googly Fun

Hubby downloaded the coolest thing today--Google Earth. I spent at least an hour looking for every place we've lived. Hubby and the boys looked at the places we've travelled the past few years. They even saw the pyramids! Totally an amazing google tool.

Gotta love Google.


July 05, 2005  |  Comments (1)  |  TrackBack (0)  |  Permalink



Tip of the Day

If you happen to have a black snake in your pool, and you want to make sure it's not a water moccasin, I recommend that you NOT do a google search and look at the pictures of the snakes from all the places pest removers find snakes in Florida homes.

I'm going to have nightmares about snakes in bathrooms, behind dressers, in pizza boxes. . .

(Oh, and I think it's just a harmless little ringneck in the pool. I'll let Hubby figure it out for sure and deal with it.)


July 05, 2005  |  Comments (8)  |  TrackBack (0)  |  Permalink



Happy Independence Day!

Being our first stateside Fourth in several years, we made a big deal of Independence Day. We had lots of family time--cooking together, swimming together, watching the neighbor's firecrackers. . .

Hubby planned our holiday menu, grilled the steaks and made tiramisu. The boys made berries-and-jello dessert. (Another big treat--American jello and strawberries available whenever we want them!)

We were going to watch Red Dawn with the kiddos--but the dvd was already checked out. We own it in VHS, but don't have a VCR anymore.

In the midst of all this, Hubby found time to blog on Fourth of July traditions and the Left's reaction to this holiday. Sobering reading.

Holiday pics:


J9 and T7 with the dessert they made.

Boys in Pool.JPG

Hubby and the Boys


C4 Swimming


Happy T7!


July 04, 2005  |  Comments (5)  |  TrackBack (0)  |  Permalink



Workers for the Field

I got an exciting e-mail from a friend this week. I started grinning and crying and praying all at once. I've kept out identifying info, because I don't know how public my friend likes to be online. But still, I wanted to share and ask for prayer.

Just wanted to send out a brief note to tell you my good news... Today I was approved by Mission to the World to serve a one year term, with the possibility of an extension, in Santiago Chile! I will be heading out Feb/Mar 2007--after I graduate. My job description will be working as tutor/teacher for 2 missionary families who have a total of 5 school-aged children. My goal is to serve as an encouragement and support to the missionaries there, with the possibility of getting involved either with the Spanish-speaking church plant or the English-speaking International church plant.

. . .

I am still currently in Atlanta going through Interview and Orientation with MTW, but I will try to write more about my plans and ideas as they unfold. The Lord has been incredibly gracious in leading me to this place and I am excited to see him provide for this new time in my life!

More on missions:
Mission to the World
Amazing Missions Resources
Westminster Standards on Missions


July 03, 2005  |  Comments (0)  |  TrackBack (0)  |  Permalink



Boys' Hymns

One of the happiest things is hearing my boys hum and sing hymns,

Let goods and kindred go,
This mortal life also;
The body they may kill:
God's truth abideth still --
His kingdom is forever.


July 03, 2005  |  Comments (1)  |  TrackBack (0)  |  Permalink



Really Cool Library Sites

Oooh, oooh, oooh!

I can now request the hard-to-find-niche-publisher books that I've been wanting to read and not wanting to buy yet. (Read: Reformed books not available at the library.)

I don't know whether these sites work only within Florida or are nationwide. But they're cool.





July 01, 2005  |  Comments (0)  |  TrackBack (0)  |  Permalink



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